wow

Today was not a good day, spent a majority of the morning in bed. Until I got really hungry, it's not even that I'm lazy. I just don't want to get out of bed. It's funny I recognize what I am doing and how I need to change myself or else I'm going to never get out of this hole.
I got up, went downstairs in a bitter mood to eat. I was putting myself food when there was only one spoon of veggie curry. I broke down...I walked to the stairs, my mom was sitting there because she saw me go downstairs. I looked at her, broke down started crying and said "there’s no vegetable" It seems kind of comical now to childishly cry over something like that. But my mom very well knew I was not in a good mood. So she came and fixed my food :) hugged me and said "One day I am going to see you going to work at Sick Kids" (I’m so grateful for her… and that is an understatement). I knew it was best not to stay home, I was going to sit there dwell on the past, the future, the present and on him.
My jaw dropped and I sat there with my mouth for I don't know how long. I stared at my mark in disbelief. Health Assessment was a bitch. Preparing for the exam was a bitch. Waiting outside the classroom to write the exam was a bitch. Writing 25 short answer (85 marks) health assessment exam was a bitch. Talking and mumbling to myself as my professors stared at me was a bitch (no exaggeration I looked crazy).
My mark wasn't excellent but it was better than I expected. I'm shocked and proud at myself at the same time.
On a day to day basis so many good things happen to us, which goes unrecognized. The good things that happen to us through alot of effort and work is highly praised, which makes sense. It's been a long time since I felt good about myself. But seeing my mark, well that my friends was my lorezpam for the day. I’ve begun doubting my sanity.. but hey there's gotta be something good with me if I made it through that health assessment exam successfully right? :)