Sunday, July 31, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Haven't Had Enough [FULL] - Marianas Trench NEW SONG!!! ~ Lyrics
Testing Testing,
I'm just suggesting,
You and I might
Just be the best thing..
sleep
Can't sleep! I'm going to have to be up in less than 5 hours to get to clinicals.
The fact that I had a two hour nap earlier on today might be the cause factor for the situation I'm in. I just hate going in clinicals all groggy and sleep deprived. Well, I hate going to clinicals..period. As we slowly approach the end of semester, everything seems to be so close but yet going in slow motion. In fact, I don't mind writing my exams, I just want clinicals to be over with! Yes that right I said I prefer exams over clinicals. Well let me try going to bed now. *Sigh* I've got Don't Stand so close to me by the Police stuck in my head.
The fact that I had a two hour nap earlier on today might be the cause factor for the situation I'm in. I just hate going in clinicals all groggy and sleep deprived. Well, I hate going to clinicals..period. As we slowly approach the end of semester, everything seems to be so close but yet going in slow motion. In fact, I don't mind writing my exams, I just want clinicals to be over with! Yes that right I said I prefer exams over clinicals. Well let me try going to bed now. *Sigh* I've got Don't Stand so close to me by the Police stuck in my head.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Sum 41 - Back Where I Belong
As much as Sum 41 has changed to more of a punk genre compared to when I was a kid. Some of their new songs are pretty good.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
the fine line
Now I can give the utmost respect to a woman who has confidence. She has a smart head on her shoulder and is well dignified. I don't expect her to put in 100% confidence but that she is aware of her flaws and insecurities but it doesn't get at her too much.
Than of course there is over-confidence or cockiness. It then gets to the point that it's a bit annoying and the person is just full of themselves. Yes every woman definitely should have confidence but one should never forget modesty as well.
Countless studies have shown females and males are brought up with difference social expectations. Men are expected to have a sense of confidence and certainty. Whereas, woman didn't have the benefit of having confidence instilled in them at a very young age. Don't get me started on media portrayal of woman and men. All in all, in the end females are left second-guessing ourselves.Boy cries, mother responds "Your a strong boy, don't worry" How often do we hear parents say that to daughters? They are allowed to express the emotions. Anyways, I'm getting to feminist here.
But of course, many of us jump over the hurdles and climb over obstacles society throws our way and are able to synthesize a reasonable amount of confidence. I thought what's wrong with having a woman that's "ballsy" and over-confident? We all should be proud of her right? Would men find a woman that's cocky appealing? Hmm not sure. Personally, I have a distaste and find it irritating when a male or a female is cocky. It makes me question what is there that you are trying to compensate for? And it's just annoying having to hear someone praise themselves! lol
Now, I'm not one to preach because well my confidence isn't up to par as it should be but this is simply my mere observation. What I can say is: stand up for yourself when you feel mistreated. Be proud of your accomplishments and be comfortable in your own skin. There is a limit about constantly advertising your wonderful traits.
Than of course there is over-confidence or cockiness. It then gets to the point that it's a bit annoying and the person is just full of themselves. Yes every woman definitely should have confidence but one should never forget modesty as well.
Countless studies have shown females and males are brought up with difference social expectations. Men are expected to have a sense of confidence and certainty. Whereas, woman didn't have the benefit of having confidence instilled in them at a very young age. Don't get me started on media portrayal of woman and men. All in all, in the end females are left second-guessing ourselves.Boy cries, mother responds "Your a strong boy, don't worry" How often do we hear parents say that to daughters? They are allowed to express the emotions. Anyways, I'm getting to feminist here.
But of course, many of us jump over the hurdles and climb over obstacles society throws our way and are able to synthesize a reasonable amount of confidence. I thought what's wrong with having a woman that's "ballsy" and over-confident? We all should be proud of her right? Would men find a woman that's cocky appealing? Hmm not sure. Personally, I have a distaste and find it irritating when a male or a female is cocky. It makes me question what is there that you are trying to compensate for? And it's just annoying having to hear someone praise themselves! lol
Now, I'm not one to preach because well my confidence isn't up to par as it should be but this is simply my mere observation. What I can say is: stand up for yourself when you feel mistreated. Be proud of your accomplishments and be comfortable in your own skin. There is a limit about constantly advertising your wonderful traits.
Monday, July 25, 2011
humans plan, God laughs.
Once again while I was showering the sweet ol' Indian lady this week. She brought marriage again and asked whether I was ready? I responded that I wasn't ready and still had school to accomplish and that by the time I was done school, find a job and ready to marry I'd be 27/28. I know quite old and plus God knows what will happen right? She proceeded to give me her words of wisdom:
Take your time and get to know someone. Find someone that understands you and your career. Men of our culture expect a woman who will tend to their family and be by their sides 24/7. *she let out a laugh as if she was reminicising of her late husband* Find a man that will understand your career and the fact that you will have to work odd hours. Don't rush, take your time.
I smiled and listened because I really didn't know how to respond. What she said is true. But nowadays love seems like some sort Zelda journey or a hunt for the right man. You go out to clubs the ratio of guys to girls is like 1:4. Of course clubs aren't the best place to meet a potential significant other. I guess in a way it is an oxymoron because "true love" (I use this word casually because who knows if it really exists) is hard to find but when it is discovered there is those flying sparks and immediate chemistry. But is love really something that is "natural and simple"? Or is it just finding and settling someone within our vicinity, shares our similar likings and values?
But of course, that's the least of my concerns. Right now, I should not even be worrying about the outcomes of relationships with the opposite sex. Just have fun and enjoy (no not in a sexual way -_-) because I think the the only outcomes I should be worried about is my schooling. haha =\
Take your time and get to know someone. Find someone that understands you and your career. Men of our culture expect a woman who will tend to their family and be by their sides 24/7. *she let out a laugh as if she was reminicising of her late husband* Find a man that will understand your career and the fact that you will have to work odd hours. Don't rush, take your time.
I smiled and listened because I really didn't know how to respond. What she said is true. But nowadays love seems like some sort Zelda journey or a hunt for the right man. You go out to clubs the ratio of guys to girls is like 1:4. Of course clubs aren't the best place to meet a potential significant other. I guess in a way it is an oxymoron because "true love" (I use this word casually because who knows if it really exists) is hard to find but when it is discovered there is those flying sparks and immediate chemistry. But is love really something that is "natural and simple"? Or is it just finding and settling someone within our vicinity, shares our similar likings and values?
But of course, that's the least of my concerns. Right now, I should not even be worrying about the outcomes of relationships with the opposite sex. Just have fun and enjoy (no not in a sexual way -_-) because I think the the only outcomes I should be worried about is my schooling. haha =\
oh man
Me: Jojo couldn't sleep last night. He was scared of the thunder/lightening and kept splashing. I had to turn on the light 'til the storm calmed.
Friend: :$ ....me too
Mind you she doesn't have a turtle. -_-
Jojo woke up late too! I think he was up even after I turned off the light because usually he's awake before me. But when I woke up this morning I found him still asleep. Poor kiddo. It was good to have rain though though, I loved it. Seeing that I was awake, I wrote for a bit while waiting for the storm to calm. Hmm I think my body is becoming sensitive to caffeine. I had maybe two cups of "grande" green tea and my hand is shaking. But green tea has maybe 10% of caffeine that is in a cup of coffee. Maybe it's something else. =\
Friend: :$ ....me too
Mind you she doesn't have a turtle. -_-
Jojo woke up late too! I think he was up even after I turned off the light because usually he's awake before me. But when I woke up this morning I found him still asleep. Poor kiddo. It was good to have rain though though, I loved it. Seeing that I was awake, I wrote for a bit while waiting for the storm to calm. Hmm I think my body is becoming sensitive to caffeine. I had maybe two cups of "grande" green tea and my hand is shaking. But green tea has maybe 10% of caffeine that is in a cup of coffee. Maybe it's something else. =\
Sunday, July 24, 2011
never gonna leave this bed
The view as I drive home. Yes it's blurry, I was driving at 70 km/hr.
Pink/purple skies as the sun sets.So I was supposed to go clubbing last night, but my friend flopped only to want go to a pub near her place and well I wasn't going to drive up to Sauga to go to a pub. Instead I ordered some Pickle Barrel take out and drove to this hiking trail in Pickering. It was so peaceful eating a cheesecake, windows down and watching the rain pour down in a deserted place. I ended up going to bed at 10:30 and waking up at like 7:30am LOL :|
Hmm so I got work today as well. There is honestly something about side shy smiles that are my kryptonite. UGH! Anyways I'm going to start studying for Patho today.
You know what I have come to realize, I'm an accommodating person. Now I don't say that to flatter myself. I feel that because of that characteristic people tend to take advantage of that Whether it be my family, my ex or my friends.Once I got SO angry and just yelled at my mom. Never would you pull this with my lil brother, but with me you think I'll do everything even without my input!
It then got me thinking; is accommodation normal in relationships? Yeah probably. My ex was accommodating just as much as I was. However, I think at one point I feel like I was trying more only to get disappointed. Well that's the past but I wonder how much should one put in and give for a relationship? After my past experience, I would never divulge such personal details of my life again to another guy, no matter how close and "in love" I feel with him. But then again you can never say never, I wouldn't want that to be used against me when I do the contrary. Newsflash: everyone talks alot of bs and end up doing the opposite. You live and your learn, I guess.
There are just some things you keep to yourself. Some may argue no if you love someone and they are your other half there will be no secrets. My response? BS. I don't want to open myself to another person and tell them my history only to get it used against me. LOL! Now I know I should not base my past experience for the future but you also learn lessons from the past that will protect you from hurt, and this is just one of them. I know that I should not have some sort of pre-judgement towards guys and have a guard up because a good guy may slip through my fingers. However, it's not that simple. You literally have to have your guards up and take your time with this crap. That's a mistake I've made and learned for the better. As for friendships, it's tricky because friendship is both like and unlike a relationship you have with a significant other.You learn from the past and you know better not to let it happen again.
Slowly I've begun to realize to just to do things on my own and not have any expectations in others. I remember reading somewhere never get attached to your expected outcomes. The only person you can trust is yourself. Wow I sound really cynical. Lol I'm not. I know there good people out there, there are plenty of them in my life whom I love and treasure deeply in my heart. But what I'm trying to say is you also got to put yourself first before others, otherwise you are just being unfair to yourself. Now of course there are times when you need to put your bf/gf/family member/ friend before yourself but that's also depending on the situation. I remember reading somewhere how are you suppose to love others if you can't love yourself? That's really true. Because if you can't truly love and appreciate yourself, you will be blind to your true value and anyone whether it be a bf, gf or even a friend can easily mistreat you. And of course you being oblivious of your self worth think that it's okay for others to say or do shit to you. Well that was just my random, long brain fart. Think about it. :)
Hmm so I got work today as well. There is honestly something about side shy smiles that are my kryptonite. UGH! Anyways I'm going to start studying for Patho today.
You know what I have come to realize, I'm an accommodating person. Now I don't say that to flatter myself. I feel that because of that characteristic people tend to take advantage of that Whether it be my family, my ex or my friends.Once I got SO angry and just yelled at my mom. Never would you pull this with my lil brother, but with me you think I'll do everything even without my input!
It then got me thinking; is accommodation normal in relationships? Yeah probably. My ex was accommodating just as much as I was. However, I think at one point I feel like I was trying more only to get disappointed. Well that's the past but I wonder how much should one put in and give for a relationship? After my past experience, I would never divulge such personal details of my life again to another guy, no matter how close and "in love" I feel with him. But then again you can never say never, I wouldn't want that to be used against me when I do the contrary. Newsflash: everyone talks alot of bs and end up doing the opposite. You live and your learn, I guess.
There are just some things you keep to yourself. Some may argue no if you love someone and they are your other half there will be no secrets. My response? BS. I don't want to open myself to another person and tell them my history only to get it used against me. LOL! Now I know I should not base my past experience for the future but you also learn lessons from the past that will protect you from hurt, and this is just one of them. I know that I should not have some sort of pre-judgement towards guys and have a guard up because a good guy may slip through my fingers. However, it's not that simple. You literally have to have your guards up and take your time with this crap. That's a mistake I've made and learned for the better. As for friendships, it's tricky because friendship is both like and unlike a relationship you have with a significant other.You learn from the past and you know better not to let it happen again.
Slowly I've begun to realize to just to do things on my own and not have any expectations in others. I remember reading somewhere never get attached to your expected outcomes. The only person you can trust is yourself. Wow I sound really cynical. Lol I'm not. I know there good people out there, there are plenty of them in my life whom I love and treasure deeply in my heart. But what I'm trying to say is you also got to put yourself first before others, otherwise you are just being unfair to yourself. Now of course there are times when you need to put your bf/gf/family member/ friend before yourself but that's also depending on the situation. I remember reading somewhere how are you suppose to love others if you can't love yourself? That's really true. Because if you can't truly love and appreciate yourself, you will be blind to your true value and anyone whether it be a bf, gf or even a friend can easily mistreat you. And of course you being oblivious of your self worth think that it's okay for others to say or do shit to you. Well that was just my random, long brain fart. Think about it. :)
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
the conversation a mother never wants to have
we were talking about a relative who has been in a coma since the age of 21. It's been 5 years. I told her if I was ever in that position and there has been no changes/progression, take me off of life support. oh man...didn't mean to hurt her I guess I could have been more sensitive. But I think these kind of wishes need to be discussed so the family isn't left scrambling and get to mourn with a little bit of piece that they did the right thing.Also, the person in the coma dies with dignity and his/her wishes respected.
"adventure"
haha I ended up driving down to the beach after the gym today. Mind you, I didn't get a chance to walk around it was dark and well creepy so i just sat on the bench facing the lake.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Pre-grad placements
The list of choices is out for pre-grad. Obviously we aren't guarenteed a spot and sometimes we don't even get anything on our top 4 picks but heres my choices:
*Sigh..fingers crossed* Can't believe I'm almost done this semester. As much as I was dreading it and hated the workload, I don't want to end. I'm very nervous for pre-grad. What is pre-grad/consolidation? basically It's not a clinical group which I've had for the past two semester. I'll be buddied with a nurse at the hospital and I will work the same shift she does. My peers will not be there with me nor will a teacher. I'm basically on my own. But like Lil Wayne said in JLo's song "I'm into you" : Every finish line is the beginning of a new race. Of course it's not a new race but you know!
- North York General Hospital (I want to work there once I'm done schooling for a year or two)
- Toronto General Hospital (right beside Sick Kids, did you know the first successful lung transplant was done at this hospital?)
- Toronto East General Hospital(other than Sick Kids Hospital, Toronto East is second pediatric ER available in Toronto)
- Scarborough Grace Hospital (close to home!)
*Sigh..fingers crossed* Can't believe I'm almost done this semester. As much as I was dreading it and hated the workload, I don't want to end. I'm very nervous for pre-grad. What is pre-grad/consolidation? basically It's not a clinical group which I've had for the past two semester. I'll be buddied with a nurse at the hospital and I will work the same shift she does. My peers will not be there with me nor will a teacher. I'm basically on my own. But like Lil Wayne said in JLo's song "I'm into you" : Every finish line is the beginning of a new race. Of course it's not a new race but you know!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Adele- Set Fire to the Rain
I set fire to the rain,
And I threw us into the flames
Where I felt something died
'Cause I knew that that was the last time
The last time, oh, oh!
And I threw us into the flames
Where I felt something died
'Cause I knew that that was the last time
The last time, oh, oh!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
no matter
Regardless, of how cliche this sounds; it really is shocking how life can change before your eyes.
I came across some photos of a wedding from last year. It feels like a different life time, a different chapter locked away and pushed to the back of my head. Nowadays, it's easier not to think of my past relationship, because of distractions such as school. But when I come across photos of myself, him and his family at a wedding all of us smiling happy. You can't help but feel this overwhelming surge of emotions. You can't help but wonder What happened? But then this realistic voice chimes in and goes Life happened.
But see that's the flaw, we are told to just shut our emotions up once they surface and go on with life. We don't actually feel and "deal" with those emotions. Sometimes you got to, otherwise you don't get to the root of the problem. It then goes ignored, unsolved and repressed. You never really grow and move on. Yeah, yeah...I sound pretty sappy and annoying right now, but it's the truth.
Paulo Coelho
"Passion makes a person stop eating, sleeping, working, feeling at peace. A lot of people are frightened because, when it appears, it demolishes all the old things it finds in its path.
No one wants their life thrown into chaos. That is why a lot of people keep that threat under control, and are somehow capable of sustaining a house or a structure that is already rotten. They are the engineers of the superseded.
Other people think exactly the opposite: they surrender themselves without a second thought, hoping to find in passion the solutions to all their problems. They make the other person responsible for their happiness and blame them for their possible unhappiness. They are either euphoric because something marvelous has happened or depressed because something unexpected has just ruined everything.
Keeping passion at bay or surrendering blindly to it - which of these two attitudes is the least destructive?
I don't know."
No one wants their life thrown into chaos. That is why a lot of people keep that threat under control, and are somehow capable of sustaining a house or a structure that is already rotten. They are the engineers of the superseded.
Other people think exactly the opposite: they surrender themselves without a second thought, hoping to find in passion the solutions to all their problems. They make the other person responsible for their happiness and blame them for their possible unhappiness. They are either euphoric because something marvelous has happened or depressed because something unexpected has just ruined everything.
Keeping passion at bay or surrendering blindly to it - which of these two attitudes is the least destructive?
I don't know."
book
It's interesting how something as minuscule as a book can change your perspective, ground you and bring you back to reality. But of course "A pen is mightier than a sword" I'm sure the saying means otherwise but you know what i mean! :P I can recall a time when my thinking was a lot different. It felt more free.
Then, of course, school happened, nursing happened and it basically took over what my thinking. I was then oriented to a different form of thinking and well those fleeting moments of lying in bed thinking freely began to change into different habits. Here are a few examples. There are nights when I can't fall asleep before clinicals. I'd be alert in bed, restlessly rolling around, thinking about the day ahead. So what do I do? Some may suggest drink warm milk, meditation or read a good book. What do I really do? Take out my clinicals notepad and my textbook and start writing notes, about anything that I would find of importance. From there I would feel some sort of reconciliation with sleep and I'd find no difficulty in dosing off. Another example is, I was about to leave the house to meet with my best friend. I instinctively reached for my medical-surgical handbook just to flip through and read on the subway ride there. But instead I forced myself to grab the Tuesday's with Morrie by Mitch Albom (a book I'd recommend to anyone that is reading this!). And I'm glad I did. The book, more like Morrie, made me realize what exactly society does nowadays.
They get caught up with life, with things that we assume are so important that we forget to revel in the moments that are actually crucial. What I respected the most about Morrie was is attitude to in regards to material possessions.
With me, I get caught up so much in my school. I'm sure the course load they've piled up on me is partially to blame, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to cut back and let loose. Well these past few days I've had to enjoy so it's time to pull up the boot straps and finish of this paper for Wednesday. I've have all these likings to go out and do things, but find it difficult with school. Either I am too tired or guilty for spending time otherwise.
Then, of course, school happened, nursing happened and it basically took over what my thinking. I was then oriented to a different form of thinking and well those fleeting moments of lying in bed thinking freely began to change into different habits. Here are a few examples. There are nights when I can't fall asleep before clinicals. I'd be alert in bed, restlessly rolling around, thinking about the day ahead. So what do I do? Some may suggest drink warm milk, meditation or read a good book. What do I really do? Take out my clinicals notepad and my textbook and start writing notes, about anything that I would find of importance. From there I would feel some sort of reconciliation with sleep and I'd find no difficulty in dosing off. Another example is, I was about to leave the house to meet with my best friend. I instinctively reached for my medical-surgical handbook just to flip through and read on the subway ride there. But instead I forced myself to grab the Tuesday's with Morrie by Mitch Albom (a book I'd recommend to anyone that is reading this!). And I'm glad I did. The book, more like Morrie, made me realize what exactly society does nowadays.
They get caught up with life, with things that we assume are so important that we forget to revel in the moments that are actually crucial. What I respected the most about Morrie was is attitude to in regards to material possessions.
With me, I get caught up so much in my school. I'm sure the course load they've piled up on me is partially to blame, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to cut back and let loose. Well these past few days I've had to enjoy so it's time to pull up the boot straps and finish of this paper for Wednesday. I've have all these likings to go out and do things, but find it difficult with school. Either I am too tired or guilty for spending time otherwise.
"We've got a form of brainwashing going on in our country," Morrie sighed. "Do you know how they brainwash people? They repeat something over and over. And that's what we do in this country. Owning things is good. More money is good. More property is good. More commercialism is good. More is good. More is good. We repeat it- and have it repeated to us- over and over until nobody bothers to even think otherwise. The average person is so fogged up by all this, he has no perspective on what's really important anymore.
"Wherever I went in my life I met people wanting to gobble up something new. Gobble up a new car. Gobble up a new piece of property. Gobble up the latest toy. And then they wanted to tell you about it. 'Guess what I got? Guess what I got?'
"You know how I always interpreted that? These were people so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. They were embracing material things and expecting a sort of hug back. But it never works. You can't substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship." (Tuesdays With Morrie, Mitch Albom, Page 125)
"Wherever I went in my life I met people wanting to gobble up something new. Gobble up a new car. Gobble up a new piece of property. Gobble up the latest toy. And then they wanted to tell you about it. 'Guess what I got? Guess what I got?'
"You know how I always interpreted that? These were people so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. They were embracing material things and expecting a sort of hug back. But it never works. You can't substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship." (Tuesdays With Morrie, Mitch Albom, Page 125)
Sunday, July 17, 2011
ugh
Call my brother and this is how the conversation went.
Me: Can my friend go on your laptop? I need mine to do my homework
Brother: Ugh I've got stuff on my computer
Me: omg come on we aren't going to go through your shit.
Brother: I've got porn on my computer
Me:Okay I don't care just give me the pass word
(but really in my head I'm going "OMGG EWWWWWWW WHYYYYYY?!?!?!" ) Wow this is just so awkward.
Me: Can my friend go on your laptop? I need mine to do my homework
Brother: Ugh I've got stuff on my computer
Me: omg come on we aren't going to go through your shit.
Brother: I've got porn on my computer
Me:Okay I don't care just give me the pass word
(but really in my head I'm going "OMGG EWWWWWWW WHYYYYYY?!?!?!" ) Wow this is just so awkward.
Friday, July 15, 2011
hp7
“It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”
-Albus Dumbledore
-Albus Dumbledore
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
flustered
It's 1230 am. I've got to get up in 6 hours to prepare for a test which I feel not-so-confident about. I did have a good study session today with my friends, but ugh I just feel like there's more too know. I could be studying. I went to bed at 11 hoping I can sleep and be well-rested. It only resulted in me lying in bed, tossing and turning in anxiety. I have a teaching assignment due next week and well I need to get on it tomorrow to actually implement the project. This means that I might have to go into clinicals on friday even though I was thinking of not going in because of sleep deprivation. We'll see. I'm going to move things around my schedule tomorrow, talk to my clinicals teacher to get her input on my project idea and hopefully get on to it. I just got on the computer and I already got a scholarly article to also strengthen my project idea. SOooO *fingers crossed*
You know I was thinking, it's quite sad that I really have nothing else to write about this other than school. But then I thought about it, I really can't blame myself. My life mainly consists of school. This is one of the reasons why I'm happy I'm not in a relationship because of the mental consumption nursing sucks out of me. Which of course I don't mind because school gets interesting. Things are just so overwhelming and I feel like school has been taking up so much of my life that I don't even have time for myself anymore. I say that and yet manage to procrastinate a day which I could have used to study. Ah well I wanted the evening off. What I do is when I go into work I take my lecture notes with me so when I find some time when I'm not so busy with customers to serve samples, I just read.
Things are a little chaotic at home with the family. I can just hope it all works out for the best and no one is taken for granted. I can't help but worry. Hmm. Well hopefully I get to see my best friend friday. It'll just feel good to get out and just frikken catch up with life. It's one thing talking over the phone and msn, but actually meeting up, cracking jokes and doing EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAGLLLLLLEEEEE in public will be an upside to all the stress I'm enduring right now. So hopefully friday is a fo shizzle mah nizzle y'all. I've had all these little ideas in my head for august. My parents 25th anni. is coming up so I was thinking of doing a little get together/dinner/party for them which I'll do on my dad's b-day(before their anni), because my lil bro will be off to uni on the date of their anni. I also wanted to clear out some stuff in our house and also fix up both my brother's room (which is soon to be turned into my study) and my room. I was contemplating painting my room too. This all seems like a great deal amount of work for two weeks of summer vacation for me. So we'll see. Like I said, things are chaotic at home so I just don't want to set expectations on anything with things the way they are. Bahh.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
Beyoncé - Best Thing I Never Had
Damn she's beautiful. I just don't get why would she be singing about her ex when she's getting married? I mean I think that's the last thing on your mind esp. 13 years after? Look forward not back, lol especially on your wedding day. (there's a clip in the video that shows her past with her ex which has the date 1998)
I get that one's past relationship is what strengthens an individual and affect you drastically. But uhmm don't get the concept really behind the video, I think Beyonce just wants to play dress up and it's just there for aesthetic purposes. Ah well she looked good doing it regardless of the crappy video concept. The song is a pretty interesting meaning but the video could have been done differently.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
sweet ol' indian lady
who reminded me of an older version of my best friend...here's the conversation:
Her: So are you married?
Me: No... I'm 22.
Her: Ohhhh so it's time for your parents to present the options so you can pick ;)
Me: akward laugh
mind you I was giving her a shower during this conversation....lalalalala =\ and no she isn't the same patient from the previous post.
Her: So are you married?
Me: No... I'm 22.
Her: Ohhhh so it's time for your parents to present the options so you can pick ;)
Me: akward laugh
mind you I was giving her a shower during this conversation....lalalalala =\ and no she isn't the same patient from the previous post.
abuse
It's really sad finding out that the possible cause behind a patient's admission to the hospital with a subdural hematoma is due to abuse of someome close to that individual. *sigh* but I know as a nurse you see cases like this on weekly or even daily basis. I remember my teacher telling us a story of having to treat a little girl who had severe burns from hott water, a result from parental abuse. And then you can't help but wonder how does God let this happen? Karma seriously isn't the answer when working with the patients who aren't only healing but coming to terms with their abuse.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
LIVERRRRRRRR!
So today's focus in our classes was liver damage and well I was reminded on how much I love the liver. Do you know why there's a LIVE in LIVER?!!? Because the liver is just that awesome. Yes I had to blog about this!
75% of the liver is taken from the healthy donor and given to those who need a liver in a liver transplant. So for the reciever, the remaining healthy liver regenerates from 75% to 100%! As for the donor with 25% of liver, it will eventually regenerate the liver within 6 months! OH MY GOD! Is not just the coolest thing EVER?!?!
As for the alcoholics who abuse their bodies with over consumption here's some fun facts:
- You need to consume 2 cases of beer/day for 6 months to destroy your liver.Of course there is some discretion in the sense every body functions differently some might be more or less!
- You can also develop fatty liver from alcoholism. Fatty liver can also occur with those with a fat diet. How to solve that problem? Go on a low fat diet and the liver will eventually rid the fat. As for alcoholics with fatty liver. What happens is when you drink beer it's just straight carbohydrates (sugar), what the liver does is: oh Hey there's too much sugar up in here. Okay I'm going to convert this excess sugar into fat and pack it up on myself. That's what happens; fatty liver. What's wrong with a fatty liver? Imagine a sponge in a bucket; it's going to absorb the water up quite readily right? Well with fatty liver imagine that very sponge with a hard clay arround; absorption is not going to be that great.You basically will have this layer of fat blocking blood flow. And the liver is a crucial agent in "cleaning" our blood. What will happen eventually is there will be so much resistance in the liver(the lvier becomes hard and fluid will build up) and pressure will increase. There is going to be all this fluid in the liver. What's the body going to do? Push out all that extra fluid into your abdomen (more specifically the peritoneal cavity, which usually has 30 ml of fluid and surrounds the organs found in the abdoemn). So what happens from there ascites or thrid-spacing. All the fluid gushes into our peritoneal cavity, which is why patients will develop a big abdomen from this. To relieve that build up of excess fluid, the patient will under go paracentesis. This is where the basically stick a tube in and drain out all the excess fluids. When I stepped in to watch this procedure at the hospital, they managed to take out 2 L from the patient! Holy caca! You can see the emotional and physical relief the procedure does for the patient.My teacher saw 12 L of fluids being drained out of the patients abdomen. Of course you can't take out all the fluids at once but of course with maybe 4 hours gap.
http://www.meddean.luc.edu/lumen/MedEd/Radio/curriculum/Surgery/Peritoneum_list1.htm
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Bedouin Soundclash - Walls Fall Down
I was driving when I heard this song on the radio. Damn it's been a while. :)
Monday, July 4, 2011
ESPNNews
Espn news montage. High energy Music. Heavy Bass World Town by M.I.A
In the words of Paris Hilton, That's hott.
the hidden one
Warning: Kind of cheesy
So I have a private blog, one which has settings that only I can view the blog. In there is where I write out entries to unleash my frustrations with life. Whether it be school, family, the ex, friends or myself, this is where I rant. Upon writing out an entry in which consisted in me talking about how repetitive my life was getting and how I hate being cooped up and barred behind the demands of school, a solution came to me. Every week, as a treat to myself and for the sake of my sanity, I will allot myself one activity; whether it be hiking, going to the beach to take photos, biking, going to the movies etc. I'm thinking that will help the burnt out feeling I'm getting from school. Also, frankly it's getting kind of lonely. I've got school, library, work and gym. That's what it consists of, no one else and nothing more.I don't get out as much to do things otherwise. So instead of it letting it consume me, doing these activities will have me embrace the loneliness and see it more solitude.
So I have a private blog, one which has settings that only I can view the blog. In there is where I write out entries to unleash my frustrations with life. Whether it be school, family, the ex, friends or myself, this is where I rant. Upon writing out an entry in which consisted in me talking about how repetitive my life was getting and how I hate being cooped up and barred behind the demands of school, a solution came to me. Every week, as a treat to myself and for the sake of my sanity, I will allot myself one activity; whether it be hiking, going to the beach to take photos, biking, going to the movies etc. I'm thinking that will help the burnt out feeling I'm getting from school. Also, frankly it's getting kind of lonely. I've got school, library, work and gym. That's what it consists of, no one else and nothing more.I don't get out as much to do things otherwise. So instead of it letting it consume me, doing these activities will have me embrace the loneliness and see it more solitude.
breathe
So i'm sitting here at 3 am doing some deep breathing exercises. Why you may ask?
It all started off with me getting to bed a little late then planned after deciding to finish off 27 Dresses. I seem to have such a soft-spot for that movie, makes me feel so glum afterwards.
Anyways, I brush my teeth, wash my face, put on my cream, pray and climb into bed. I'm lying there thinking about -I don't even know what. I hear a flutter and decide to ignore it, deeming it as the rustling of my towel which I keep at the head of the bed. Then I hear the flutter again, you know the fluttering you hear with wings of birds or butterflies. Flutter...again..this time I felt the wings. Oh dear god what the FUCK was going on?!?? :| I automatically cover myself with the sheets and stayed under there for half second to gather my thoughts. My plan was to jump out of the bed and turn on the lights. Yeah epic fail. I ended up half jumping out of bed and landing on the ground, only to bolt up and turn on the lights. There it was: A big brown moth. When I mean big it was the size of my middle finger, okay ring finger. I stood there staring at it from across the room. What the hell was I going to do? I look at Jojo, who was now awaken and eating the algae of his rocks. Then I saw a tiny little fishnet wrapped in a white plastic bag, which I used to use for Jojo's feeder fishes. So my plan was to use the net to trap the moth. Then I realized the net was probably too small for moth, so I opted for the plastic bag. As I crept closer to the moth, I can see him raising his wings up ready to fly away once I took another step closer. I ran back to my side of the room. My sheets were on the floor and the moth started flying around. It would fly around in circles and close to my corner in which I'd then let out muffled, strained silent screams whacking it away from me. LOL then I opened up my door hoping he'd get out. Once again he came close to me. WHACK! Out the door he went...INTO MY PARENTS ROOM. WTF?!? I crept into my parents room, turned on their first light. He was no where to be seen. *sigh* Ran back into my room and shut the door.
So now my body is trying to adjust to the jolt of epinephrine that kicked in. Seriously...why?!?! :|
It all started off with me getting to bed a little late then planned after deciding to finish off 27 Dresses. I seem to have such a soft-spot for that movie, makes me feel so glum afterwards.
Anyways, I brush my teeth, wash my face, put on my cream, pray and climb into bed. I'm lying there thinking about -I don't even know what. I hear a flutter and decide to ignore it, deeming it as the rustling of my towel which I keep at the head of the bed. Then I hear the flutter again, you know the fluttering you hear with wings of birds or butterflies. Flutter...again..this time I felt the wings. Oh dear god what the FUCK was going on?!?? :| I automatically cover myself with the sheets and stayed under there for half second to gather my thoughts. My plan was to jump out of the bed and turn on the lights. Yeah epic fail. I ended up half jumping out of bed and landing on the ground, only to bolt up and turn on the lights. There it was: A big brown moth. When I mean big it was the size of my middle finger, okay ring finger. I stood there staring at it from across the room. What the hell was I going to do? I look at Jojo, who was now awaken and eating the algae of his rocks. Then I saw a tiny little fishnet wrapped in a white plastic bag, which I used to use for Jojo's feeder fishes. So my plan was to use the net to trap the moth. Then I realized the net was probably too small for moth, so I opted for the plastic bag. As I crept closer to the moth, I can see him raising his wings up ready to fly away once I took another step closer. I ran back to my side of the room. My sheets were on the floor and the moth started flying around. It would fly around in circles and close to my corner in which I'd then let out muffled, strained silent screams whacking it away from me. LOL then I opened up my door hoping he'd get out. Once again he came close to me. WHACK! Out the door he went...INTO MY PARENTS ROOM. WTF?!? I crept into my parents room, turned on their first light. He was no where to be seen. *sigh* Ran back into my room and shut the door.
So now my body is trying to adjust to the jolt of epinephrine that kicked in. Seriously...why?!?! :|
Friday, July 1, 2011
blue moon
wow three posts in a day? clearly I'm not up to much today. Well quite frankly, I should be studying. I really should. But from waking up at 7 am, running off to temple after submitting my assignment and coming home and eating. I decided to take a nap at 2. Naps are very time consuming yet very fulfilling. I ended up sleeping for like 3 hours and got out of bed like at 6? Now I can't stop yawning.
It's Canada day and everyone should be doing something. I'm not. It just feels weird not going out when everyone is out. My parents, also took their nap and are just awakening to do some housework. My brother being a recent high school graduate has been going out the past few days with his friends. SOoOo everyone has got something to do.
My friend invited me out to go clubbing but I was tired and had to make time to study in the evening/night. That and I was just sort of lazy/meh-ed out.
So now I'm loading up Bridget Jones's Diary, plan on eating then cleaning the room as I watch that. Lol I watched a few clips on youtube which got me interested because I swear I can so relate to main character in the sense her weirdness reminds me alot of myself. hehehehe hamana *creepy smile*.
I watched an episode of House today. I used to watch House when I was in high school. But today I watched it after a long time. And HOLY CRAP! I actually understood the medical stuff they were talking about. Also when they were proceeding with diagnostic tests and speculating on a diagnosis for a patient, I'm thinking no that can't be it the patient would have this and this symptom. And I'm sitting there talking as if I'm like part of the team. I know weird, don't judge me! LOL I had a bonding moment with House, so I'm considering on starting the show. Maybe, maybe not. I don't like starting new shows. It's like starting a new relationship, you are bound to get addicted and have to watch all the previous seasons to catch up and continue watching it. Thus, committed...especially if the shows are good. And from the looks of House I think especially being a nursing student now, I'd love it. gahh! Ah well. We'll see.
It's Canada day and everyone should be doing something. I'm not. It just feels weird not going out when everyone is out. My parents, also took their nap and are just awakening to do some housework. My brother being a recent high school graduate has been going out the past few days with his friends. SOoOo everyone has got something to do.
My friend invited me out to go clubbing but I was tired and had to make time to study in the evening/night. That and I was just sort of lazy/meh-ed out.
So now I'm loading up Bridget Jones's Diary, plan on eating then cleaning the room as I watch that. Lol I watched a few clips on youtube which got me interested because I swear I can so relate to main character in the sense her weirdness reminds me alot of myself. hehehehe hamana *creepy smile*.
I watched an episode of House today. I used to watch House when I was in high school. But today I watched it after a long time. And HOLY CRAP! I actually understood the medical stuff they were talking about. Also when they were proceeding with diagnostic tests and speculating on a diagnosis for a patient, I'm thinking no that can't be it the patient would have this and this symptom. And I'm sitting there talking as if I'm like part of the team. I know weird, don't judge me! LOL I had a bonding moment with House, so I'm considering on starting the show. Maybe, maybe not. I don't like starting new shows. It's like starting a new relationship, you are bound to get addicted and have to watch all the previous seasons to catch up and continue watching it. Thus, committed...especially if the shows are good. And from the looks of House I think especially being a nursing student now, I'd love it. gahh! Ah well. We'll see.
shiet
I got a new patient the other day. His BP was 155/104. Ladies and Gentlemen, as a nursing student that is the highest BP I've ever taken. :|
drug administration
Medication Order: Lorazepam (Ativan) PRN. Read drug instructions.
(PRN medication is a type of order which are given by nurses to patients on an "as-needed" basis. So this entails a nurses judgement on how much to give and how frequently.; Lorazepam is benzodiazepine which is used for antianxiety so of course it's effects is a sense of relaxation and sleepiness)
Me: OoOoOOo Lorezepam!!!! (imagine one excitedly reacting to chocolate, ice cream or their favourite treat..yah that was my voice)
Teacher: uhmm...*one eye brow raised look*
*awkward silence*
Me: *attempts to break silence* man this patient has so many drugs I'm going to be a walking drug guide by the time I'm a nurse. hahahaha...
(PRN medication is a type of order which are given by nurses to patients on an "as-needed" basis. So this entails a nurses judgement on how much to give and how frequently.; Lorazepam is benzodiazepine which is used for antianxiety so of course it's effects is a sense of relaxation and sleepiness)
Me: OoOoOOo Lorezepam!!!! (imagine one excitedly reacting to chocolate, ice cream or their favourite treat..yah that was my voice)
Teacher: uhmm...*one eye brow raised look*
*awkward silence*
Me: *attempts to break silence* man this patient has so many drugs I'm going to be a walking drug guide by the time I'm a nurse. hahahaha...
You maybe wondering why in Gods name I'd be up at 7 am when I have no clinicals and it's a long weekend. Well my friends this is a consequence I must suffer for my procastination last night in completing my care plan which is due at 10 am today. Seriously pissed off at myself. =\
I want to stand at the foot of my parents bed and smile like the photo below of Sheldon from Big Bang Theory, until they wake to their daughter smiling at them like that with a startle.
BAHAHHHAHAHAHA they created me, they have no choice but to love me.
Oh, Happy Canada Day ...I love you Canada *runs out kisses a Maple leaf tree* Oh how I wish the maple leaf tree was actually a Maple leaf player, prefarrbly Luke Schenn or Nazeem Kadri.
I want to stand at the foot of my parents bed and smile like the photo below of Sheldon from Big Bang Theory, until they wake to their daughter smiling at them like that with a startle.
BAHAHHHAHAHAHA they created me, they have no choice but to love me.Oh, Happy Canada Day ...I love you Canada *runs out kisses a Maple leaf tree* Oh how I wish the maple leaf tree was actually a Maple leaf player, prefarrbly Luke Schenn or Nazeem Kadri.
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