inhale

hmm finally a few days off.. =)

...

Maybe that's what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano

straight to the brain

I went to lunch with my friend today who was in Markham and we went to this sushi place. It's this tiny little unit and online it got some good reviews. I really liked the decor it was n't all too fancy but the booths were so private with curtains. I guess it was simple and nice at the same time. It had a nice Japanese theme. Their sushi was pretty good I've tried sushi on few occasions so I'm not an expert on differentiating. Nevertheless, the food was great. So, we were talking about something.. with the distraction of the conversation.. I dipped a majority of my sushi in wasabi and just popped it into my mouth. Don't get me wrong I love wasabi.. but I forgot the strength of that thing..and I just sat there literally like this :| for a bit because within SECONDS it shot up to my brain leaving a seering sensation in my nose and tears in my eyes. It's still good but never underestimate wasabbbbbbbiiii.

In too deep

I abruptly woke up in my sleep this morning...
why?
because I realized I didn't put my references in alphabetical order for my paper!
UGHH!!! I hate APA!

...

holy shiznit 15 pages (sorry that's the longest paper I ever wrote ..) of brutal agonizing pain. I HOPE to GOD that I do good on this paper not only for my course mark but so I can put this paper in my Nursing Portfolio. My learning plan is a little messed seeing that I didn't follow the rules 100% more like 80% so yeah. Ugh I hope I do well. TIME TO PRINT THIS BABY!

i know its weird but...

i like saying the word papilloma..sounds kinda cooll...
paaaaaaapppiiiiiloOoOOoomaa =)

yeah uhm so I sat up in bed like 3 times because somehow my mind would wake me up so I can get this paper done. I guess since I'm stressed about it (seeing that I did leave it to the last MINUTE) my frikken brain won't remain asleep and it keeps waking me up.
Here's my goal...finish everything up REALLY fast and sleep for a bit before class.. booyyaakaaa
my mouth tastes funny...yeah that's right I HAVEN'T WASHED MY FRIKKEN TEETH..ohhh nooo HOW UN-LADY LIKE and NON-HYGENIC!
I bought floss over a month a go...I still haven't used it. Don't judge me!

PAP SMEAR THAT BACHINGO of yours =)

This is by far one of the hardest papers I ever wrote :| it's due 10:30 am tomorow and I am not done.
I am sick and tired of reading about the HPV infection, pap smear tests, cervical cancer and all that other stuff that comes with it. I know its bad but seriously IM TIRED. Oh and I am also sick and tired of writing in APA style! But it is kind of cool to see my paper looking like those scholarly journals with all those referencing, subheadings and what not.
So I was trying to figure out where I can learn how to administer a PAP test (it was part of my report) ...there was an actual video. For those of you who don't know what a PAP test is, this thing holds open your vajajay the doctors sticks in this lil stick or swab to get a tissue of cervix. Then it's sent off to the lab so it can be tested for cancerous or precancerous cells in your cervix.
My rooms a mess...there a huge pile of clothes and a huge pile of paper.

I know I got to stop with the videos.

Sunscreen

A song my professor showed us in class...

prayer

Before, a WHILE back (1 year +) I used to pray every time I heard sirens. Now, how much I pray has diminished. I used to be religious, now I rarely find myself thinking about God. I wonder if I have "too much going on" or just "too comfortable" do I neglect God? What is the reason that I stopped praying on a daily basis? I feel guilty that I lost that touch with God. But who is God? Why haven't I really tried re-connecting? We go on with our days, typing on our computers, running to catch the bus or running the red light that we fail to stop to take a breath and think. Think about ourselves, our body, our mind and what we are putting ourselves through. I guess I'm just experiencing some defense mechanism of my mind because seriously I am overwhelmed. What I dislike about myself is I sit here and rant about my school, but I shouldn't feel guilty. This is just a drama I'm dealing with and that's what I can talk about. Why I am justifying this I guess has a past history, that stung and scarred me pretty severe, that I feel self-conscious talking about the stresses of school. Oh well.. back to God. Anyways, I heard these sirens, as I was filling out my Nursing Evaluations and Feedback Tool. The sirens were loud and going on for a while. I prayed.
After a long time, I prayed that everything was okay because of the siren. I can't change who I am nor what I have done, what I am doing and what I planning on doing.unless I really feel the need to. And I guess I can change the relationship with God. That kind of will to change has to come from within. I guess in a sense I've taken my relationship with God for advantage. It's as if it's non-existent or neutral.. maybe more neutral. We have so many shrines, statues, photos and prayers dedicated to many Gods. But who is God? Is it a female or male? Is God warm and protective or cold and punishing? Is God someone who just lets you do what you want and learn from your falls and bruises? Or does God put you in those situations so your "soul" can learn something for a "future life time"? Does God choose who you are surrounded with or is that your doing? Does God choose our parents? If God did, thank you for my mom she was the best person to come out of. lol ..only I would make a situation like this into something humorous. I don't know why I decided to talk about it here where it's exposed and vulnerable but I needed to put it down somewhere and this was the first thing available. Well I guess the sirens were a start of something. Things just get complicated when I think about life beyond this earth, this universe, there are other solar systems out there with a star the same size as the sun. There is chance for life. We can't be egocentric and assume we are the only living beings. In the big scheme of things we JUST arrived on earth (we're probably the reason to destroy it sooner too) and we are REALLY small compared to many other objects (stars, planets, black holes) out there. So if there is life out there, besides us, is there a God responsible for them? And then our God meets with these others God and has meetings about how things are going? lol sorry another joke.. or is it ONE GOD for every living thing out there including us and if there is any out there. I believe there is a chance of life beyond this solar system, I think it would be narrow minded to assume that we are the only ones. I mean it's amazing that we can evolve into what we are but what's stopping evolution, natural selection, random mutations, AIDS, inventions, birth, death, tissue regenration, cell division, mitosis, meiosis...from happening elsewhere? And if it exists is it the same God (sorry to be repetitive)? Then comes to the questions was God created by us, Humans. Was God created to give us some sort of comfort and net to fall back in time of crisis? Back when there was no technology, many tribes could have said God was angry when there was a thunderstorm. However now we learned through experimentation's and observations that thunderstorms were more than an act of God but warm most air colliding with cooler air (correct me if I'm wrong?) So God was just an answer for things we never had a solution or response to. However, how do you incorporate God in a life where there are solution manuals for everything! I feel when you say God did this God did that, we fail to go beyond that box and explore what could have caused, even if God did it. How did it happen? What were the steps? I can see and understand the concept of prayer but I guess I question this God? Is praying like sending mail to an address with no one living there? I guess I am confused. I go to temple, regardless, I say the Hindu prayers I was taught as a child which is engraved into my brain. And then I pray to God, talk to him or her, tell them about everything. But then I question...if there is a God shouldn't they know what I am feeling? What I am going through? What I want or need? I used to pray for someone and a situation neither of us never really had control of. So is praying just a form of exerting our lack of control, putting it into the hands of someone whom we believe and think can do something? When someone dies, who do we pray to that the soul is okay? Some would most likley pray to God. Only because we don't know how it is on the other side, if there person is okay, oif nothing happened and their body just decayed. We do it for our own self-relief or our mind's way filtering out the stuff to big to take into our hands. Anyways this has gotten long enough and I have papers to do for tomorow. YIKES.

school rant.

I feel like shit, I have so much work to do yet I still managed to fall asleep for like 1.5 hours. I guess I must be more physically tired then I am aware of.Regardless ...my school work has piled so much that it's double my height! Ok..lol..that's an over exgerration.

waking up to this...

Portugal 7-0 Korea

Ronaldo has a frikkishly large adam's apple.. but my god he's just mmm...mmmm..MMMMMMMMMMm

and sometimes..

and sometimes you need that push to get you back on your feet.

AMAZING

A must watch Goal!
This is what you call soccer...I was watching the game Spain vs. Swiss today when I came home for lunch. Spain's offence was not that great and there defence was okay at one point but it was as if they got tired by the end of the game. As for Swiss, there offence was really strong. This was an amazing and this is what you call perseverance.

Fifa

So today was Italy vs. Paraguay...to my surprise last years winners (Italy) did not score first. Paraguay was leading 1-0. Afterwards Italy finally tied it up 1-1...and then I dozed off, didn't watch the ending of the game but 1-1 was the final results. I guess I expected a more stronger start from Italy but they started of slow last year too.
I didn't watch this game but turns out Netherlands vs. Denmark..Denmarks own defense players ended up scoring on his own net. What... a... shame :| It reminds me of the time I started playing soccer as a kid for the soccer team. At this point I didn't know what position I wanted to be. So I tried out goalie...let's just say at one point I chased the ball into the net. I remember for teh second half I played more agressive but after that game I changed position to mid field.

doodoo

there's just something about taking a dump, showering and jumping into nice clean clothes.

That's write I blogged about doodoo...I just pushed it to another level like Lady Gaga's Alejandro video. How are you being original and unique when you are just copying the styles of Madonna? I hate you Gaga.. and I'm waiting for the day you and the Kardashians disappear off the public radar like Kate Gosselin. :)

jd

"We all go through life worrying about what other people think of us. The truth is the harshest words are the ones we say about ourselves." - JD, Scrubs, Season 9 Episode 1.


Something I need to realize...

Mr.Magorium's Wonder Emporium

When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words. I've lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading... and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest "He died."

Jojo you so silly!

So sometimes I seem to walk in on Jojo doing some unusual things...this is by far the weirdest.

It looks like he was doing some turtle yoga position but he would just sit there ..like that...for a long period of time.

This first photo was taken by my brother..where he saw these two birds on our basketball net. I love these birds and how they just coo. I always see them in pairs too never alone.

under pressure

I was recently introduced to Queen..and I didn't know they sang most songs I knew like this one which I can relate to right now:

Under Pressure
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-xVb1qsPCw

Another One Bites
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNQRfBAzSzo

We Will Rock You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iikKzQwgBJc

it's like eating a skittle without knowing what flavour you're eating...

I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me
(Galileo) Galileo (Galileo) Galileo, Galileo Figaro
Magnifico-o-o-o-o
I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me
He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity

LISTEN TO THIS SONG:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfiJUc4WCLE&feature=related

puhlease

Working in groups... I just hate it. I guess it depends on who you are working with but seriously I hate douchebags who think they know their shit when really THEY DON'T.

There is this one dude who just completly cuts me off when I'm talking.
Than there is this chick who just completly disregards my idea saying "Oh that's to difficult" in her whiny voice and would only go with my idea when the rest of the group persuades her. Which goes to show that if the rest of the group likes the idea than it's "not too difficult" or "bad".

And I don't want to hear that garbage...well ami you are going to be a nurse you should learn to cooperate and speak up with people.
(1) learn to cooperate I am not going to learn to cooperate with people who refuse to listen to me or my frikken ideas
(2) Yes I DO REALIZE I NEED TO TALK...and I DID when people just get out of line otherwise I can't just go on for every small little thing. I think where I went wrong is I should have addressed the stupid annoying habits like the dude's cutting of issue and the other girl's "that's too difficult"

I am beginning to find it hard to tolerate that people favor other courses more than others. Yes I know patho is hard and yes I know theory is fuckin demanding but you know what we have other fuckin courses too! I mean I've done it and over the semester + half I've been in nursing I learnt that favoring particular courses GETS YOU NOWHERE. You have to frikken balance your workload or else you will bbe anally screwed!

Anyways that is my vent for now. I swear I have alot of shit to say in my group dynamics essay. and Its not like im going to sit there and blame the rest of the group. I know I should have spoke up MORE. well Im going to study PATHO. which I am probably going to miserably fail. God there is this girl in my class taking it again because she dropped it and she said it's frikken hard. ok im going to shut up and do some work.

orange beauties

this love has taken it's toll on me she said goodbye so many times before.

Breakdown

So the past week or so consisted of me of many frustrations and two emotional breakdowns. I guess I might come off as dramatic to some but my feelings are genuine. The first semester was just an introduction to Nursing, but NOW...Now is when I realize holy shit I'm a nursing student.
How am I going to change the sheets when a stroke patient is occupying the bed?
What if I don't get the proper vital signs?
How the hell am I going to remember all these frikken "normal doses"?
What if I give the wrong dosage?
WHAT IF SOMEONE DIES BECAUSE OF ME?
I guess some of these questions will always be in my head.
Right now I've come to the point grab the bull by its horn and knee it in it's testes.. no I literally don't mean that (no cruelty to animal intended). But yeah from 7- 2 am I worked than today from 11 to around 2 I worked. I stopped to eat, then I came upstairs cut up the bristol board pieces I needed. I was a little sleepy so I decided to catch a nap. I was listening to my ipod when I came across this song:
One Step At A Time by Jordin Sparks
I have two "life" songs one is Right Here Right Now by Fatboy Slim that's my motivational song. And I guess I fail to recognize and remember One Step at a Time but the song is moving.and just encourages me. Besides, Jordin Sparks is a talent unappreciated singer who needs recognition for her beautiful voice.
I distinctively remeber this was the first summer I got my placement at Sick Kids Hospital as a Volunteer and I was listening to this song on my MP3 as I walked to the subway and I just felt so good and fulfilled. I knew where I was suppose to be and what I wanted to do. No more confusion! I just had to get there! Listening to that song as I laid in my bed realized I need to take things once step at a time and not expect to be a fully equipped and experience nurse.

This is basically how I feel:

You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet
Wonder when and where and how you're gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face as the door keeps slamming
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you're getting all kind of impatient waiting
We live and we learn to take
One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen when it's
Supposed to happen and we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

ginger

imma own this assignment like if it was my pet rock, Ginger!

ok i made that up but now that I think about it I think I had a pet rock. I was an interesting child. I remember I used to have a crush on Prabhu Deva... I think I still do. =\
Oh and I remember I was in Knob Hill Farms when I was a kid and my parents were checking out our grocery. Well my hand was in those machines that dispenses toy in those plastic bubbles and I was trying to get those toys...without paying. Anyways this white guy who was walking by told me that if I had my hand in there and I turned the lever (which is what your turn after you put in the coin) my hand would get chopped off. Yeah ..uhm.. never did that AGAIN! crazy man ruined my childhood..

lundi|ibnul

I saw a bunny in my backyard... I named him lundi...lundi is a word I came up with for describing a guys package like "hey look at his lundi" well anyways I KNOW lundi means monday in french and the FRENCH had nothing to do with this. So I Lundi was eating our damn VEGGIES in our backyward and my mom was going to go run and be like "DAIII" ok that's an exagerration even though I did that because it's amusing to see Lundi's head shoot up to look at me. Even Jojo doesn't do that..so anyways I took a crrot and brroke it into three, threw it near him and Lundi DID NOT eat it. shhhhhhhhheessh typicall bunnies when there is something good in front of you, you just don't see it.
Well anyways I should be working on the overwhelming amount of work for next week so I can study over the weekend for patho...but here I am talking about Lundi. I think the stress is getting to me.

chickens

One thing I really HATE about The View.. they all just speak over each other. It's a really bad image on women and how we handle our conversations. Although in some situations I have seen it like that but I guess it's just another thing to put it on television. They have amazing topics to talk about that would keep be interested BUT once they start squabbling over each other it's hard to even enjoy the conversation.
Well Im on my break I came home to eat lunch and Im meeting up with my lab partner and friend to practice our bed making skills for my returned demonstration next week.
Well here is family guy's depiction of The View which I find funny and true! :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkt2hEe-kbU