done clinicals

oh my goodness I can finally READ a novel!!!!! Where to begin?!! What to read?!? So excited. 

oh hot damn

Whoa. The blogger setup has changed.

Anyway, I'm trying to grasp things, think things through, weigh out my options and cover every bit of ground. Which altogether is a REALLY slow process in terms of figuring out what to do and where to go. So hopefully by the end of the week I have somewhat of an idea. Right now the goal is to get the resume done, apply for jobs and study for my licensing exams.

Few things I've learned in the past few days which many would find valuable and reasonable:

You don't know the value of something or someone unless it/them are threatened to be stripped from you or is actually gone. We really don't! But the passion and angst expressed in such a threat shows how much it means to you and how much you value it. How much you are not ready to give up without a fight and ready to do whatever it takes. See that's the thing, doing whatever it takes sometimes may involve not following expected social norms.But fuck it. 

Secondly, we take those who we REALLY care about for granted. Many people bend over backwards to ensure you are smiling. Whether it be our mother, best friend or significant other. But never do we actually appreciate how much they do for us. Those people I think are a repayment from God of the good karmic actions. 

I had a sleep over last night. I think at one point the discussion of weddings and babies came up. I was distracting myself by looking at an Aladdin book with one of the kids. How can I even think about  babies and marriage when I am no where on that boat? If I was on a boat, my boat would be no where near that boat! Of course they are at different levels and would never hold that against them. They were talking about things because they have gotten to that stage. But of course I was trying not to have an anxiety attack about it, about everything. My main focus is my career at the moment, and that's how it should be for me. Anything in relation to a guy is just a mere incidence of flirting and I am happy with that interaction, if any. For some reason I found it hard talking about just incidences(to flirting with a guy) of such to my friends at the sleep over. Like it wouldn't be taken seriously or maybe I just felt a slight sense disconnect from the group.  I guess because no one really asks, and I'm not going to sit there and talk about myself if I'm going to be cut off or not listened to. So I don't mind listening to the giggles and excitement as they speak about their plans, life, marriage and children,  if they ask me, I will speak. I think at one point this week I was so stressed: I was like fuck it. I just want to finish off what I'm at and just have children(no that's not going to happen LOL). Speaking of which, the doctor called me for results from an ultrasound I did a few weeks back. Bah. Another to do on that list. I think it's more the anxiety of wondering what the hell is wrong with you. Damn ovaries and possibly pituitary gland. Why can't you guys just coordinate and work properly? Maybe I should freeze my eggs, just in case. LOL seriously. 

lol

oh me? oh my!

I was talking to a friend the other day. Updated on my life & dealie-o. She responded with I was thinking the other day while I was watching Sex and the City that you would be Carrie Bradshaw. Say what? She went on to explain how I "put myself out there", have all these crazy stories that I've experienced with guys (no not sexual ones -_-) and have "fruitful" knowledge when it comes to relationships. Uhmm hmm...ugh...gee thanks? Wasn't sure if I was suppose to feel flattered that Carrier Bradshaw reminded her of me.

Well ladies and gentlemen, I've had my share of crazy experiences. From the weird Asian guy yelling arrribbbaaaaa! in my ear as we danced on the dance floor together to getting stood up at the movies. Shit happens, we all develop feelings for people and things just don't work out. What matters is moving on from that and becoming a wiser person from that situation. You also become aware of those who stick by you to help you pick up the pieces. I know it's much to early for one of those yearly look back reflections. But 2011 was very productive. As cheesy as it it is, I'm started to actually like myself and have become an overall stronger person. Yes, I have my bad days. But those bad days have now become significantly reduced and I don't allow problems to fester on for so long any more. It's when you develop that relationship with yourself and you become comfortable in your own skin ( no matter how discomforting the situation is) your confidence and outlook will help overcome any situation. It may seem simple to some. But for me it was and still is a working progress. When it comes to guys; the right one is out there somewhere but I'm happy with things the way they are. And I guess this new found feeling is almost surreal and even can be overly sappy and nauseating to some. Also, if I'm met to be alone for the rest of my life then I'll face and accept that when I come to that bridge.

lolololol had to add this picture. It was way to hilarious and I can see myself doing something like this. Honestly haha

exam

Final exam: Dec 13

Licensing exam: Jan 11

Physiological symptoms: twitching eye, hyperactive bowel sounds,irritability, palpitations noted when anxiety levels heighten and clenched jaw.

bahah

I said what I had to say. If I looked like a freak, oh well! ;)

Why This Kolaveri Di