screw it

My day of self-pity and hatred has come to an effin halt. Well not really, but I must put an end to it. The most productive was writing a post on tumblr in regards to heart medications. Other than that  I've been sleeping all day. My mom woke me up because I haven't eaten and well couldn't sleep after that so I pathetically wallowed in self-pity. My brother and grandpa have checked up on me. My brother even offered to go out. I pushed them away. I just need time you know? It's exasperating getting my hopes up only for them to get shot down. Haha It's one thing if it happens with guys, but when it comes to something like school. Nah that ain't right. 

You know that's the fucked up part; pitying yourself and giving up it's SO damn easy to be successful at it. However, going on against the odds and overcoming the obstacles, is a challenge but you get what you want. I'll do whatever the fuck it takes to get what I want.

I'm not going to let this get in the way of enjoying my much deserved break or much needed study time for my licensing exam.  Is it odd that I want to go out, get drunk and just cut loose? Probably not, and I'm probably going to do it without giving a shit about what people think.  I don't party every week, so this is my chance. 

Anyways, I'm going to work with what I have and become the best nurse I can out of all of this. Like I mentioned in my blog earlier, this happening helped me set my priority straight. And this is my priority. 

So I'm going to change in to some booty shorts and  tank, put on some good music and clean up the room. This includes giving jojo a much needed bath and scrubbing his tank clean.