Im tired of it...
Tired of the fronting
Tired of the "getting on with my life"
I miss him alot.
I don't care if I look like the idiot who misses the guy who said a bunch of shit to me.
I miss him...
I have this stupid gaping empty hole feeling in my stomach.
And I am aware that it's different now without him.
Like the fact that I dont need to worry if I was to go out with friends and I'd have to argue with him because of that.
But I miss him
I know this entry is so intoxicating.
Things aren't gonna change...especially him
I guess this why I don't see myself moving on because even though he was a jerk there were moments he made me feel like a queen.
Therefore, i dont want and need to go out and think of being with someone else...because no one will ever measure up to him.
What killed me the most was the thought of him being with someone else.
I felt like someone pulled out my intestines.
prior to our break up he spoke about this girl; long wavy hair, beautiful, tall, light skin, nice small, charismatic, down to earth and smart.
I cringe at the thought of them being together.
Why am I like this?
ADD ON @ 7:01 PM
I didn't want to make a new entry so I just edited this post. I guess the best part of all of this is I can recognize when I'm going to go downhill. I know how to treat myself I can either distract myself with work and feel that "accomplished" high to realize Im choosing the right path...and if it's really bad I know I'd be reaching for the pills tonight. Let's just hope it's not the latter. I'm going to the temple soon. I hope it helps, even though I shouldn't go with such expectations. That is not what a temple is for..but I guess at this point I can only pray that everything is going to be alright and everyone is okay.
Tired of the fronting
Tired of the "getting on with my life"
I miss him alot.
I don't care if I look like the idiot who misses the guy who said a bunch of shit to me.
I miss him...
I have this stupid gaping empty hole feeling in my stomach.
And I am aware that it's different now without him.
Like the fact that I dont need to worry if I was to go out with friends and I'd have to argue with him because of that.
But I miss him
I know this entry is so intoxicating.
Things aren't gonna change...especially him
I guess this why I don't see myself moving on because even though he was a jerk there were moments he made me feel like a queen.
Therefore, i dont want and need to go out and think of being with someone else...because no one will ever measure up to him.
What killed me the most was the thought of him being with someone else.
I felt like someone pulled out my intestines.
prior to our break up he spoke about this girl; long wavy hair, beautiful, tall, light skin, nice small, charismatic, down to earth and smart.
I cringe at the thought of them being together.
Why am I like this?
ADD ON @ 7:01 PM
I didn't want to make a new entry so I just edited this post. I guess the best part of all of this is I can recognize when I'm going to go downhill. I know how to treat myself I can either distract myself with work and feel that "accomplished" high to realize Im choosing the right path...and if it's really bad I know I'd be reaching for the pills tonight. Let's just hope it's not the latter. I'm going to the temple soon. I hope it helps, even though I shouldn't go with such expectations. That is not what a temple is for..but I guess at this point I can only pray that everything is going to be alright and everyone is okay.
**hugs**...your going to miss him for a while...but its definitely a slow process...and its natural to feel the way you do about him moving on...but right now its all about you baby...you healing and being born again :)
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