I miss him. What's there to elaborate upon? It's fucking pathetic. He's hurt me numerous and looking back on our relationship; Yes he was a good guy. Fuck I remeber when we were hiking and I had to piss. There's no washroom when you're hiking!! So I had to do the old squat-a-roo and luckily we had tissue paper and a water bottle on us. He kept an eye out while I ducked into some shrubs! You really can't do that with any guy. out there... but then there are times when I felt like he consumed so much of my life that he was the only part of it. When him and I were together, we isolated ourselves from friends and even for me a part of my family. He'd be on my case for coming home late from downtown when I went to see my best friend because I won't stay out with him that late. Our last phone conversations on the phone were terrible fights. Some of which consisted of him being drunken. Obscene slurs of offensive words were thrown at me. But what confuses me is why isn't that more of a reason to push myself away from this? If him and I were to get back together I know he's the type who would use the fact that I danced with other guys during our break up against me. I can't make assumptions but from what I've experienced I can conclude that. There must of been something really good about him that despite all the shit he's said and done for me to feel this way.
He always knew how to cheer me up and make me feel better. And apart of me knows I give him way too much credit than he deserves. Another thing I realized is; I jumped into a serious relationship with him so soon after my break up with my ex before that. (1) I didn't give myself the type to collect myself. (2) I didn't give myself the time to learn about him. I've only had two serious experiences of a serious relationship. The first one I never really gotten the appreciation that I deserved. The second he treated me like a princess but it was conditional. Me and him would get along if I constantly give him that attention. If I was spend one day with my friends there would be tension and reprecussion. Oh the vile words he said to me.
Well anyways my blogs are getting repititve I hate that I'm yammering on about him. But I miss him and I should allow myself to miss him. It has only been 4 and a something months. I am doing significantly better.I like going to the gym, school is fucking hectic and I have just about enough time for family and friends. My patient was with his wife, they then divorced and he remarried. They then split up and he ended up getting back with his 1st wife. So his 1st/3rd wife is now deceased but it's just funny the journey life takes you on. Sometimes your pushed in a certain direction to realize something for the better despite how straining it can be. It looks bleak out for the time being but once you cope or once it comes to an end, you are a much stronger and wealthier person than many others. It's just a matter of hanging on tight for the rough ride. Wow... so I went off on a tangent. But I hope those who are reading get what I'm trying to say.
Anyways here's a definition I came across in the 24 Magazine on the bus. Oh man speaking of bus there's this TTC bus driver that I usually see who has the most beautiful piercing blue eyes. gorgeous..and I think it's the TTC uniform (the baby blue) that makes the eyes pop even more!
Love: Nature's way of tricking people into reproducing.
hahaha and maybe I'm a tad bit jealous but it's fucking annoying see all these damn pictures on facebook of all the valentine's day gifts their boyfriends/girlfriends got them. Otherwise my first valentine's day alone was okay. Spent most of the day stressing over my care plan. Fucking 31 pages and I was sleep deprived. I came home and napped but I've got a migraine regardless. I was the only one to had in my care plan. which was complete. Some people didn't bring whereas other emailed it and the other person who brought it: my partner, hers wasn't complete. And she finished it because I called her and told her our care plans were due this week.
What bothered me is..I'm not a goody to shoe nor do I do anything out of my way to be best and get attention. I follow the rules, do my school works good so that I gain something out of it (fore example: I had a medication exercise to do. I did that good only because I can use that exercise to actually study off of and put into my portfiolio) and reinforce what I state with scholarly references.(this is in specific to my care plan) Now this care plan I gave in yesterday was for my CA2 and the same care plan is being handed in for theory. The theory teacher marks like a bitch. People get really low marks on this assignment Which is why I put so much effort into it for CA2 so that my teacher can look over it (since it's a pass or fail course I just have to basically have it completed), tell me where I went wrong so I can edit it make better for theory.
Anyways I gave her my care plan everyone was like it's so thick how many pages was it? Once again, I'm not trying ot show off or I don't like that attention and I wasn't looking for it. So I don't know I just felt like there was this unwanted attention. Im not sure if many people believe this but when people look at whatever you have in a certain way it's a black mark or a jinx. And I don't know... it made me feel uncomfortable. Another thing that bugs me is why does everyone have to be up in everyone's business? My teacher was going over my care plan. These other two students were standing there listening to my teacher tell me where I need to improve. It's like do you not have the decency to give my some privacy? I mean I guess the teacher could have said something herself too. But ugh whatever.
I need to go the doctor sometime this week to go get the lump checked out. Hopefully it's a pimple or a swollen lymph node. I asked my mom to look at it and she said it looked like a pimple. But I think to be safe I should go check it out at the doctor's this thursday. I went to the gym straight for I'm not sure how many days and my knees being weird. I read online it could be runner's knee but I think I should mention that to my doctor seeing that I'm going there anyways.
Anyways I've gota fuckin midterm this thursday and I need to study. It's so fuckin exhausting trying to study when you have to go the hospital and when you come home your tired. ARGH....I can't wait until thursday's test is done with :)
He always knew how to cheer me up and make me feel better. And apart of me knows I give him way too much credit than he deserves. Another thing I realized is; I jumped into a serious relationship with him so soon after my break up with my ex before that. (1) I didn't give myself the type to collect myself. (2) I didn't give myself the time to learn about him. I've only had two serious experiences of a serious relationship. The first one I never really gotten the appreciation that I deserved. The second he treated me like a princess but it was conditional. Me and him would get along if I constantly give him that attention. If I was spend one day with my friends there would be tension and reprecussion. Oh the vile words he said to me.
Well anyways my blogs are getting repititve I hate that I'm yammering on about him. But I miss him and I should allow myself to miss him. It has only been 4 and a something months. I am doing significantly better.I like going to the gym, school is fucking hectic and I have just about enough time for family and friends. My patient was with his wife, they then divorced and he remarried. They then split up and he ended up getting back with his 1st wife. So his 1st/3rd wife is now deceased but it's just funny the journey life takes you on. Sometimes your pushed in a certain direction to realize something for the better despite how straining it can be. It looks bleak out for the time being but once you cope or once it comes to an end, you are a much stronger and wealthier person than many others. It's just a matter of hanging on tight for the rough ride. Wow... so I went off on a tangent. But I hope those who are reading get what I'm trying to say.
Anyways here's a definition I came across in the 24 Magazine on the bus. Oh man speaking of bus there's this TTC bus driver that I usually see who has the most beautiful piercing blue eyes. gorgeous..and I think it's the TTC uniform (the baby blue) that makes the eyes pop even more!
Love: Nature's way of tricking people into reproducing.
hahaha and maybe I'm a tad bit jealous but it's fucking annoying see all these damn pictures on facebook of all the valentine's day gifts their boyfriends/girlfriends got them. Otherwise my first valentine's day alone was okay. Spent most of the day stressing over my care plan. Fucking 31 pages and I was sleep deprived. I came home and napped but I've got a migraine regardless. I was the only one to had in my care plan. which was complete. Some people didn't bring whereas other emailed it and the other person who brought it: my partner, hers wasn't complete. And she finished it because I called her and told her our care plans were due this week.
What bothered me is..I'm not a goody to shoe nor do I do anything out of my way to be best and get attention. I follow the rules, do my school works good so that I gain something out of it (fore example: I had a medication exercise to do. I did that good only because I can use that exercise to actually study off of and put into my portfiolio) and reinforce what I state with scholarly references.(this is in specific to my care plan) Now this care plan I gave in yesterday was for my CA2 and the same care plan is being handed in for theory. The theory teacher marks like a bitch. People get really low marks on this assignment Which is why I put so much effort into it for CA2 so that my teacher can look over it (since it's a pass or fail course I just have to basically have it completed), tell me where I went wrong so I can edit it make better for theory.
Anyways I gave her my care plan everyone was like it's so thick how many pages was it? Once again, I'm not trying ot show off or I don't like that attention and I wasn't looking for it. So I don't know I just felt like there was this unwanted attention. Im not sure if many people believe this but when people look at whatever you have in a certain way it's a black mark or a jinx. And I don't know... it made me feel uncomfortable. Another thing that bugs me is why does everyone have to be up in everyone's business? My teacher was going over my care plan. These other two students were standing there listening to my teacher tell me where I need to improve. It's like do you not have the decency to give my some privacy? I mean I guess the teacher could have said something herself too. But ugh whatever.
I need to go the doctor sometime this week to go get the lump checked out. Hopefully it's a pimple or a swollen lymph node. I asked my mom to look at it and she said it looked like a pimple. But I think to be safe I should go check it out at the doctor's this thursday. I went to the gym straight for I'm not sure how many days and my knees being weird. I read online it could be runner's knee but I think I should mention that to my doctor seeing that I'm going there anyways.
Anyways I've gota fuckin midterm this thursday and I need to study. It's so fuckin exhausting trying to study when you have to go the hospital and when you come home your tired. ARGH....I can't wait until thursday's test is done with :)
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