I'm uber exhausted. Tuesdays, wednesdays and thursdays suck all the energy out of me like a ...uhmm I'm going to stop midway at that simile. Even as I type this I should be reviewing some stuff for this study group I'm attending tommorow but hmm I'm not. Basically our school offers free tutoring for hard courses and well nursing theory 2 is one of them especially with the med. dosage calculations.
So today instead of going to the Y, I went to the gym at my school with my friend seeing that I had a break from 11:30-3:30. My two friends and I signed up for SALSA CLASSES. =| hmmm this is going to be interesting. Ahh well it would be fun form of exercising.
I finally did my eyebrows lol a unibrow was coming in. No exagerration but it's just you couldn't see it hardcore. ho hum. Can you believe that it's like 9:45 and I'm already tired. Shit I feel old..my grandpa goes to bed later than me! haha.
Ahh shiet.. so tommorow I've got Sick Kids and then from there I'm going to school for the tutoring. Come home eat/chill for a bit and go to the gym with the momma. This weekend is going to be all about meds. Dude I've been suppose to get on the med. stuff since last week but they keep ambushing us with work after work on meds. It makes sense they want us to be thorough on tiny capsules (and other forms that drugs come in) that can seriously kill you if adminstered wrong :P. Even this tuesday instead of clinicals we have a lab from 1:00-7:30 pm =|. Of course we're get breaks but ahakfhsaklfklsaskdsklahsklahd!
It's exhausting I just want that time to just lie in bed and be like AHHHH!! nothing to worry about la-dee-frikken-da-da. And I guess that's why I kinda wanted the Dominican experience but oh well. I guess my me time is when I go to the gym. Ahh there's nothing better than that natural high your body gets from the surge of endorphins after a work out.
But I've got to admit I like going to bed and waking up early. It feels like my day is longer. Well nothing really interesting has happened to me other than that. I mean my high points are at the hospital. I like it but I'm scared to admit that so openly because I don't want anything going wrong and that being taken away(hope that made sense:S). My patients are sweet but it can be hectic at times! It's especially crazyfirst thing in the morning where everyone is just running around trying to get thing organized. It's also a good experience because you realize that pain,aging and ultimately death is inevitable in a very direct way. Some may say they don't fear death ( I even say that) but to get to death we must suffer pain, can we stand that? This pain includes not being in control of your mind, not being incontrol of your bowels and having to manage the pains and aches. That's aging losing that sense of control over our body. How can we prolong it? Maintaing our bodies now. To get to death we must withstand loosing the ones you love. Going through hell and back and suffering their loss. Can we stand that? of course not, we would be crushed. But you realize that this is frikken life. It's sad watching my patient just gape at the wall with his mouth open, occasionally staring at me and everything inside him just seems so vacant. But then there are those moments that just warm you up like their sweet smiles, witty jokes and caring remarks. I was helping a nurse change a patient's diaper. She needed to go get a basin of water. As I waited for her , I was off in my own world. I must of had my overwhelmed look on my face (you all know how sometimes my emotions are clearly pasted on my face) because that's exactly what I was thinking about how am I going to be able to get a hold of this so that it's a norm? My patient was sitting there with his ass covered in shit, legs up with his knees bent. I mean I would be terribly uncomfortable but despite all odds HE asks ME what's wrong. ?!?!? I was taken a back and my train of thought vanished. I smiled at him and said nothing. All I can say is God bless his soul.
Loss is another aspect. Patients die. I mean it's a known fact, you read about it, you hear about it and you see it on TV! But when it happens...it's totally different. Yes I entered into clinicals thinking: it's a long term care unit, they are old and they are near death., they are eventually going to die. No prior mental preparation is going to actually set the reality of death and old age in general. We just gotta sit their and enjoy the ride, but of course no mental preparation is going to help you just gotta get used it I guess.
So today instead of going to the Y, I went to the gym at my school with my friend seeing that I had a break from 11:30-3:30. My two friends and I signed up for SALSA CLASSES. =| hmmm this is going to be interesting. Ahh well it would be fun form of exercising.
I finally did my eyebrows lol a unibrow was coming in. No exagerration but it's just you couldn't see it hardcore. ho hum. Can you believe that it's like 9:45 and I'm already tired. Shit I feel old..my grandpa goes to bed later than me! haha.
Ahh shiet.. so tommorow I've got Sick Kids and then from there I'm going to school for the tutoring. Come home eat/chill for a bit and go to the gym with the momma. This weekend is going to be all about meds. Dude I've been suppose to get on the med. stuff since last week but they keep ambushing us with work after work on meds. It makes sense they want us to be thorough on tiny capsules (and other forms that drugs come in) that can seriously kill you if adminstered wrong :P. Even this tuesday instead of clinicals we have a lab from 1:00-7:30 pm =|. Of course we're get breaks but ahakfhsaklfklsaskdsklahsklahd!
It's exhausting I just want that time to just lie in bed and be like AHHHH!! nothing to worry about la-dee-frikken-da-da. And I guess that's why I kinda wanted the Dominican experience but oh well. I guess my me time is when I go to the gym. Ahh there's nothing better than that natural high your body gets from the surge of endorphins after a work out.
But I've got to admit I like going to bed and waking up early. It feels like my day is longer. Well nothing really interesting has happened to me other than that. I mean my high points are at the hospital. I like it but I'm scared to admit that so openly because I don't want anything going wrong and that being taken away(hope that made sense:S). My patients are sweet but it can be hectic at times! It's especially crazyfirst thing in the morning where everyone is just running around trying to get thing organized. It's also a good experience because you realize that pain,aging and ultimately death is inevitable in a very direct way. Some may say they don't fear death ( I even say that) but to get to death we must suffer pain, can we stand that? This pain includes not being in control of your mind, not being incontrol of your bowels and having to manage the pains and aches. That's aging losing that sense of control over our body. How can we prolong it? Maintaing our bodies now. To get to death we must withstand loosing the ones you love. Going through hell and back and suffering their loss. Can we stand that? of course not, we would be crushed. But you realize that this is frikken life. It's sad watching my patient just gape at the wall with his mouth open, occasionally staring at me and everything inside him just seems so vacant. But then there are those moments that just warm you up like their sweet smiles, witty jokes and caring remarks. I was helping a nurse change a patient's diaper. She needed to go get a basin of water. As I waited for her , I was off in my own world. I must of had my overwhelmed look on my face (you all know how sometimes my emotions are clearly pasted on my face) because that's exactly what I was thinking about how am I going to be able to get a hold of this so that it's a norm? My patient was sitting there with his ass covered in shit, legs up with his knees bent. I mean I would be terribly uncomfortable but despite all odds HE asks ME what's wrong. ?!?!? I was taken a back and my train of thought vanished. I smiled at him and said nothing. All I can say is God bless his soul.
Loss is another aspect. Patients die. I mean it's a known fact, you read about it, you hear about it and you see it on TV! But when it happens...it's totally different. Yes I entered into clinicals thinking: it's a long term care unit, they are old and they are near death., they are eventually going to die. No prior mental preparation is going to actually set the reality of death and old age in general. We just gotta sit their and enjoy the ride, but of course no mental preparation is going to help you just gotta get used it I guess.
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