Sunday, June 19, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Through the good and the bad
It's a bitch. I work my ass off. Spend 7 hours working on a care plan and wake up at 5 am to finish it off. I work my ass of to get my stuff done at the hospital. Believe me these past two weeks with my new 300 lb patient who complains and is particular about her care HAS BEEN A HELL. SO why can't my teacher factor that into consideration regarding my care?! What does my teacher have to say? Not good enough, you can do better. Honestly, this may seem light to a few of those who read this. But when you seek out for some encouragement and poitive feedback after working so hard and you don't get anything, it's discouraging and frustrating. I've confided in my friends about this and in a sense I'm not alone. We've all had our shares of emotional break downs. I really wish I can just explain it much more details or readers can understand HOW frustrating it is but it's hard. I guess with the work piled on top of me, with the new patient and the fact that my teacher says I need to improve I WANT TO FRIKKEN SCREAM SO LOUD!
But then this happened...
I walked into my first patients room with the wife sitting by his bedside. We spoke about things here and there. She told me how they were transferring him to a rehab facility and about how she would have to commute 1.5 hours to now see her husband. Let me tell you (knock on wood, spit three times), they are a classic example of what true love is. The kind of unconditional love you see with a parent and a child or the kind of love you see with older generations of married couples. Sorry to say it but it's rare to come by nowadays (or maybe Im just a bitter cynic). But no there is a difference! I can hope only for the best from them. So we spoke and it was time for me to head out for break. I took time out part of my break to visit them. This may have been the last time I see her because tommorow morning it will get hectic and I will be busy with my patient. So she stood up, face flushed with redness and hugged me. I hugged her and she thank you and I wish you nothing but the best. As I looked down at her, she was crying! I was telling myself don't ....start...crying. do not start crying in front of patient! I reflect back and I can't help but think, I was such an impact! I must have done something right with her to have sucha bond. I wished her and her husband the best and went off to break. I re-visited once more when I was done my shift with my friend who is the actual nurse for the patient. At this time he was sleeping. (he's so cute when he sleeps :) ) So we were all talking about knitting. I told her I tried and just don't have the patience whereas my friend (who was with me) knows how to do it but doesnt remember. The patient's wife said well im sure you know how to do it you can make it for your kid one day. My friend laughed and said that's a long time from now! She replied well you never know once you find the right man. And I chimed in saying haha I think she found the right man ;) She then asked me do you have a boyfriend? I replied no, school if my bf. THEN the patient's wife goes it's too bad your so young you'd be perfect for my son but you'll find the right guy one day! Me... awkwardly laugh. We then left, finished up our stuff and left to our locker room. I tell my friend this and she's like you guys seemed to be talking quiet friendly when he was here the other week. LOL :| I replied First of all I was being nice! Secondly, that's against the rules. Thirdly, he's like 20 years older than me! oh man oh man...:|
Sometimes I hate it but then you run into people like my first patient's wife. They change your perspective on certain things in life and about yourself. She gave me this grounded perspective that gets brainwashed by society and it's expectations. But *sigh* sometimes moments like those that honestly makes up for the crap I endure.
But then this happened...
I walked into my first patients room with the wife sitting by his bedside. We spoke about things here and there. She told me how they were transferring him to a rehab facility and about how she would have to commute 1.5 hours to now see her husband. Let me tell you (knock on wood, spit three times), they are a classic example of what true love is. The kind of unconditional love you see with a parent and a child or the kind of love you see with older generations of married couples. Sorry to say it but it's rare to come by nowadays (or maybe Im just a bitter cynic). But no there is a difference! I can hope only for the best from them. So we spoke and it was time for me to head out for break. I took time out part of my break to visit them. This may have been the last time I see her because tommorow morning it will get hectic and I will be busy with my patient. So she stood up, face flushed with redness and hugged me. I hugged her and she thank you and I wish you nothing but the best. As I looked down at her, she was crying! I was telling myself don't ....start...crying. do not start crying in front of patient! I reflect back and I can't help but think, I was such an impact! I must have done something right with her to have sucha bond. I wished her and her husband the best and went off to break. I re-visited once more when I was done my shift with my friend who is the actual nurse for the patient. At this time he was sleeping. (he's so cute when he sleeps :) ) So we were all talking about knitting. I told her I tried and just don't have the patience whereas my friend (who was with me) knows how to do it but doesnt remember. The patient's wife said well im sure you know how to do it you can make it for your kid one day. My friend laughed and said that's a long time from now! She replied well you never know once you find the right man. And I chimed in saying haha I think she found the right man ;) She then asked me do you have a boyfriend? I replied no, school if my bf. THEN the patient's wife goes it's too bad your so young you'd be perfect for my son but you'll find the right guy one day! Me... awkwardly laugh. We then left, finished up our stuff and left to our locker room. I tell my friend this and she's like you guys seemed to be talking quiet friendly when he was here the other week. LOL :| I replied First of all I was being nice! Secondly, that's against the rules. Thirdly, he's like 20 years older than me! oh man oh man...:|
Sometimes I hate it but then you run into people like my first patient's wife. They change your perspective on certain things in life and about yourself. She gave me this grounded perspective that gets brainwashed by society and it's expectations. But *sigh* sometimes moments like those that honestly makes up for the crap I endure.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
please take me to narnia
They say it’s in the darkest hours that one grows and becomes stronger. It’s the obstacles in life that challenges us and makes us learn for the better. Sometimes we have to suck it up and take whatever life shoots at us. What’s going on now is a bitch, and I hope that it’s for the better in the future. That it will help in some way! At times, I can’t help but feel alone but that’s not the case. You aren’t always alone, there’s always someone in the same boat as you. Yes, you can pretend to be strong and hold your emotions in. You can resort to other means to deal with the stress in ineffective ways (like procrastination) but in the end you have face every challenge. In the end, running away doesn’t do anything, you have to own up to your responsibilities and take it down. Because, like I mentioned earlier the crap one endures now will make one better for the future. So hopefully, regardless how much of a bitch it is, this is for the better. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Lil Wayne - How To Love (New Single May 2011) (Tha Carter IV) With Lyrics
k wow I can't believe I actually like this song...:S
Thursday, June 2, 2011
ecstatic?
There's this nervous excitement in the pit of my stomach. My teacher got me and another student on the med-surg unit for tommorow. I hate that sometimes I just lack the confidence in my abilities and let that screw with my mind. The moment should be enjoyed and utilized wisely, not living in fear and anxiety. I know my shit, and maybe it wouldn't hurt to review my nursing skills. I'm guessing it's natural that I am nervous..hm? I just want to be competent and know what I got to know when I get on the unit tommorow. I also hope I have a good nurse tommorow. If the nurse is in a bad mood and doesn't want to teach, then we really don't get much out of it. At the same time I really do hope I get some good hands on experience and get a glimpse at how the unit functions because I'm considering going into med-surg for my pre-grad + possibly in nursing.
So yeah sorta shitting bricks for tommorow, but it's all a learning experience. I'm working on this care plan. *sigh* It's going to take forever to finish. We have 11 categories of needs(oxygenation, nutrition, elimination, activity/exercise etc.) in which we collect data and analyze (with references). Before we would just have to do the data collection for all the needs and analyze only the priority need of the patient. So if the patient is constipated, his/her priority need would be elimination (bowel). But no, they changed that now. They want analysis on all 11 needs. With more analysis on the priority need. What the douche man? *sigh* LOL I really shouldn't be writing in my blog, if I manage my time wisely I can do some review for tommorow + studying for my patho test next week. But hmm don't know how that's going to go.
Alot of my friends complain about the extensive amount of work we are bombarded with at my college. Compared to other schools ours is much harder (according to the students of other schools and even teachers). And yeah they drill us into doing our head to toe assessments (even though nurses don't even do that when they actually practice, unless you are an ICU nurse) and make us do all these math calculation and write weekly care plans! But all this work is going to eventually benefit us right? Regardless of how crazy it makes you and time consuming it can be. You tend to pick up bad habits when you start practicing on your own in the hospital. So I hope what they are drilling in to my head sticks with me for the rest of my career. Ugh... Im staring at Jojo snapping at a rock... Lol what a cutie he's got the simple life.
So yeah sorta shitting bricks for tommorow, but it's all a learning experience. I'm working on this care plan. *sigh* It's going to take forever to finish. We have 11 categories of needs(oxygenation, nutrition, elimination, activity/exercise etc.) in which we collect data and analyze (with references). Before we would just have to do the data collection for all the needs and analyze only the priority need of the patient. So if the patient is constipated, his/her priority need would be elimination (bowel). But no, they changed that now. They want analysis on all 11 needs. With more analysis on the priority need. What the douche man? *sigh* LOL I really shouldn't be writing in my blog, if I manage my time wisely I can do some review for tommorow + studying for my patho test next week. But hmm don't know how that's going to go.
Alot of my friends complain about the extensive amount of work we are bombarded with at my college. Compared to other schools ours is much harder (according to the students of other schools and even teachers). And yeah they drill us into doing our head to toe assessments (even though nurses don't even do that when they actually practice, unless you are an ICU nurse) and make us do all these math calculation and write weekly care plans! But all this work is going to eventually benefit us right? Regardless of how crazy it makes you and time consuming it can be. You tend to pick up bad habits when you start practicing on your own in the hospital. So I hope what they are drilling in to my head sticks with me for the rest of my career. Ugh... Im staring at Jojo snapping at a rock... Lol what a cutie he's got the simple life.
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