It's a bitch. I work my ass off. Spend 7 hours working on a care plan and wake up at 5 am to finish it off. I work my ass of to get my stuff done at the hospital. Believe me these past two weeks with my new 300 lb patient who complains and is particular about her care HAS BEEN A HELL. SO why can't my teacher factor that into consideration regarding my care?! What does my teacher have to say? Not good enough, you can do better. Honestly, this may seem light to a few of those who read this. But when you seek out for some encouragement and poitive feedback after working so hard and you don't get anything, it's discouraging and frustrating. I've confided in my friends about this and in a sense I'm not alone. We've all had our shares of emotional break downs. I really wish I can just explain it much more details or readers can understand HOW frustrating it is but it's hard. I guess with the work piled on top of me, with the new patient and the fact that my teacher says I need to improve I WANT TO FRIKKEN SCREAM SO LOUD!
But then this happened...
I walked into my first patients room with the wife sitting by his bedside. We spoke about things here and there. She told me how they were transferring him to a rehab facility and about how she would have to commute 1.5 hours to now see her husband. Let me tell you (knock on wood, spit three times), they are a classic example of what true love is. The kind of unconditional love you see with a parent and a child or the kind of love you see with older generations of married couples. Sorry to say it but it's rare to come by nowadays (or maybe Im just a bitter cynic). But no there is a difference! I can hope only for the best from them. So we spoke and it was time for me to head out for break. I took time out part of my break to visit them. This may have been the last time I see her because tommorow morning it will get hectic and I will be busy with my patient. So she stood up, face flushed with redness and hugged me. I hugged her and she thank you and I wish you nothing but the best. As I looked down at her, she was crying! I was telling myself don't ....start...crying. do not start crying in front of patient! I reflect back and I can't help but think, I was such an impact! I must have done something right with her to have sucha bond. I wished her and her husband the best and went off to break. I re-visited once more when I was done my shift with my friend who is the actual nurse for the patient. At this time he was sleeping. (he's so cute when he sleeps :) ) So we were all talking about knitting. I told her I tried and just don't have the patience whereas my friend (who was with me) knows how to do it but doesnt remember. The patient's wife said well im sure you know how to do it you can make it for your kid one day. My friend laughed and said that's a long time from now! She replied well you never know once you find the right man. And I chimed in saying haha I think she found the right man ;) She then asked me do you have a boyfriend? I replied no, school if my bf. THEN the patient's wife goes it's too bad your so young you'd be perfect for my son but you'll find the right guy one day! Me... awkwardly laugh. We then left, finished up our stuff and left to our locker room. I tell my friend this and she's like you guys seemed to be talking quiet friendly when he was here the other week. LOL :| I replied First of all I was being nice! Secondly, that's against the rules. Thirdly, he's like 20 years older than me! oh man oh man...:|
Sometimes I hate it but then you run into people like my first patient's wife. They change your perspective on certain things in life and about yourself. She gave me this grounded perspective that gets brainwashed by society and it's expectations. But *sigh* sometimes moments like those that honestly makes up for the crap I endure.
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