Life

Well I'm sick. It's a horrible cold that has sucked all the energy out of me. I tried studying but it was really hard comprehending everything under this state. I just signed the consent form for Trillium Gift of Life Organ and Tissue Donor. A part of me was hesitent because what if I was in a critical state in the hospital, will health care professionals do everything it takes to maintain my health or will they neglect the quality of care because my body can save up 8 other lives? I know it's such a silly question but one can't help but wonder. I spoke to my mother about it and I still need to let my dad know too (well my mother wants me to tell him). She didn't want me donating my eyes but hey that would help someone out! I've thought about Organ and Tissue especially since last semester when we started talking about living wills and organ transplants. Well I don't know what has gotten into me but I also was considering blood donations. Admist that thought, as I signed onto my school account they were informing students about blood donations going on at my school next week. I'm also considering that too! Anyways what prompted the action today was watching this video on Ellen.
So I realized like two weeks after my reading week I've got a whole bunch of shit starting up. From a final test, care plan and a bunch of other stuff. I really wanted to get ahead on my work and even review. I've also got my Portfolio to work on and I seriously can't even fathom taking on any of this just because of the body fatigue. I was thinking today after coming close to alot of human waste (feces and urine) due to clinicals you can't look at certain foods the same again like soup or curry. ugh..yum? =\
Oh and the song above...beautiful. :) haha I think all these sappy repitive generic romantic comedies are getting to me. I remember talking about this with my best friend about this whole love thing. Was what we have with those from our past who we came to "love", was that really love? Because if it really was wouldn't it have lasted and survived whatever turmoil thrown their way? Also, wouldn't there be less angst and pain in the split? If you really loved someone and were hurt by it wouldn't you accept their decision despite the betrayal you feel and let them lead on a life that makes them happy? Is love in our generations becoming conditional?
I mean my perspective is bias seeing that I can only refer to two serious long-term relationships from my past. Both of which ended messy and were pretty dysfunctional. I realized that I played a part in the relationship fucking up. But that's the hard part how do you change that about yourself? You seem so convinced that you weren't at fault but how do you change that flaw? How do you differentiate that you aren't at fault and you had a right to be angry?

;)

All my life I've been good but now, woah,
I'm thinking what the hell

Katy Perry - ET - Tyler Ward - Official Acoustic Cover Music Video - Fea...

My goodness his voice is beautiful :)
I feel like music videos are slowly become like this infectious bacterial breeding ground for marketing ploys. I'm up early watching the video for Jennifer Lopez new song, from what I watched so far I saw them flash BMW, Swarvoski and Crown Royal. If you watched Britney Spears new video it's the same thing! Before it used to be subtle. Now it's so blantly obvious that it gives of such a cheap image to such recognized singers such as the two above. On another note, Jlos as hottttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt :) just sayin'......

Reading Week

jammin' to this song because... it sets the mood. =]
Well really haven't hit me yet because its the weekend so during the week it will actually feel great to be home :) So i just woke from a nap and I should clean up my room. LOL I don't know when exactly I'd get started on the studying but i've got a significant amount to do. Also review the basics for my theory final test before the exam. =\
It feels good to have time off and just do about nothing. Relax!! When you are going with the hustle and bustle you tend to neglect that time for yourself, the simplest things to just stop and breath or EVEN EAT we forget to do. I was talking to my friend and a nurse was sitting at the nursing station with us. I complained how my new patient has something citical to say for everything I do. The nurse said sometimes when thay are being rude to you or are in a foul mood, just find the time to excuse yourself. We then continuted to speak and I told her how my first patient on the other hand was sweet and how difficult it was for me to adjust to the setting with seeing actual people who have succumb to such neurological degenrative diseases. She said sometimes these patients have diseases and heart breakings stories but you gotta learn not to take these diseases with you. I also remember telling my friend something along the same line. He was like you can't let that get to you because you don't want to grow to dislike the career. It doesn't get to me to the point that it's intrusive...but I guess it's just a new found respect for the elderly. I realized despite that they are old or ill they are people!
These patients have been through some crazy shit and on top of that they've served in the war. There was this one patient that sticks out to me the most. When you meet him he's the most cheerful and joking man. He's so sweet and always smiling. Turns out this man was in jail for four years! Why because he didn't pay spousal support. His wife left him because he gambled away all their money. The children obviously now don't want anything to do with him. He said "I look back and I totally regret what I did. When I see families come to visit the others I feel like an outcast because now there's no one hear for me." We then realized his charm and humour were a front and that deep down this man was hurting and just needed some company. My teacehr told us, sometimes we just have to sit there and speak to our clients and show them such appreciation becase regardless of their diagnoses they are people. Nurses tend to forget that and as students we develop such habits as well because we want to get whatever schedhule procedure done on time. She said no take your time when your talking to them. Don't get caught up with the nurses on the floor and their routine. You take your time, speak to them and give them care appropiately. Anyways he was taking down food to feed the birds and when asked where he was going he replied: "Who's going to look after the birds? I am! no one cares to stop feed the birds so I have to do it." Such a sweet man.
Everyone has a past and everyone goes through some personal turmoil. It's unfortunate for some that they have to die without having such issues unresolved. Nevertheless, there's only so much one can do.
Well hopefully I get down to the park and feed the birds myself(because the last time I went the birds were there but I had no food) and maybe go for a walk at the beach. It's going to be great :)

well I assumed wrong...

I thought that maybe going to bed at 4:30 am and waking up at 6:00 am, the likely reaction I'd do is collapse in bed and knock out. Oh the contrary. I watched two episodes of How I Met Your Mother. Laid in bed and couldn't fall asleep. So I started on the finishing touches of the Care Plan.
My patient drove me crazy today! But now I know how he's paticular about certain things I can provide his care accordingly. Like I mentioned he had hematuria yesterday and so today there wasn't any in his urine. Yay! But the urine had this strong disgusting smell. Once again it reminded me of those awful days having a UTI. Today was just a stressful day for us on the unit in general. I guess because everyone was administering medication. My partner ended up breaking down because my teacher drilled her with medications. People were just out of it. But once we got to post-conference. We talked about the funny things patients do and we all laughed so hard that it made that stressful morning seem like nothing. It was good...it was the first time we did that..and well it was good. Much needed!
I really want to sleep. I really really do! I have a returned demo, lab presentation, medication calculation quiz and this care plan tommorow. So regardless of how much I lay in bed, there is no way I'm falling asleep. Thankfully the lab presentation is group work and we have like a 4 hour break so my group is going to meet and work on it! As for the returned demo....well I did the wound cleaning today at clinicals so my teacher saw me. I'll revise just in case she does want me to do the returned demo. LOL as for the medication calculation quiz..yeah I'm not ready. I got the concept of it, it's just I'll probably practice a few questions tonight.
Okay let's finish this baby off! avada kedavra haha if only it was that easy! Can't wait to read harry potter during the break :)

oh god

lol I know the updates to my blog look really fucked up.
I fell asleep for 3 hours...yeah so much for nap. They consume a huge chunk of your day and your sleep so sleepy and groggy after.
Now It's time to work on this care plan again. UGH save me suaze! save me!
LOL I don't know why I said Suaze..Suaze is the name of my cousin's cat. =\

Push through it

Just a few more days and I get my reading week! An overwhelmed feeling hit me though that it was already March. Next thing you know it's April and with a blink of an eye we've got exams. I know it's insane. I'm working on this dreadful Nursing Care Plan. I went downstairs for food twice yesterday on seperate occassions. Both my grandfather and mother asked me if I was sick/ what's wrong?/are you on your period? I guess the stress was getting to me. So today I'm just going to chill for a bit and get back to working on it, probably going to bed late tonight...
Today I rotated to a new quad. I was initially supposed to be on quad #4 (but my teacher moved me because the nurse there was just plain awful) Tuesdays we don't provide nursing care but assist the nurses with their care. Wednesdays is when we actually take care of our patients. It's different but we're there to learn and assist, not take on your patients. This one particular nurse was being a total witch (you know what word I really mean) about it. She's like "so they are here to watch again?". My teacher responds "no they're here to assist" Then the nurse mumbles under her breath "we don't need assistance." Like seriously it was so unprofessional, especially in front of us the students and your co-workers. We aren't just here TO ASSIST we are also here to frikken learn and if your going to act like you have something shoved up where the sun don't shine, pull it out and take good look at yourself. Your a fuckin nurse and part of your job is to teach ESPECIALLY if your quad/hospital takes on such programs. During those tuesdays where we "assist" the nurses teach us care for all the patients in the quad that way we get a variety of experience. That's just how our school works.
Anyways my patient so far from my first encounter is okay. He's very adament on taking care of himself. He's got a past history for murmurs (don't know how it is now), hypertension, mild dementia, stroke and has got some complications with his prostate and urin elimination. So it would be interesting learning about the cardio stuff seeing that I've always found it challenging. He had hematuria(blood in the urine), so he had a catheter in him. Now I've had UTIs where there was blood/blood clots in my urine. But seeing it on a patient made me feel queasy. I wasn't even that grossed out by the feces but the hematuria was bah. I think it's because I personally know how painful that is(well not the catheter part). It's just a little flustering getting a handle of a new patient and giving the care. After morning care he's pretty much chilled and on his own. There's not feeding necessary for him and he usually does most of his stuff himself. It's just different from having a patient(my previous patient) who was dependent on a nurse to shower, feed etc. and to go to a patient who can do most of the stuff himself.
Bah just can't wait until this week is over with. Care plan due on thursday, a presentaion for lab on thursday and I also need to do my lab test on thursday since I didn't go in for lab last week. ARHJGHSJFADNDslkahfjshsa!! Well I think I'm going to take a nap, despite the ample amount of work I have, because I'm sleepy!