what is wrong with me?

I swear I was sick a couple of weeks ago. 

Anyway, at this point I am just waiting for the exam results. It's funny how much of a domino effect it plays in two important aspect of my life. I am to take my grandparents to the doctors today. 

Met up with friends last night for a practice. Pretty productive. I hope she likes it. Afterwards, we sat at Wendy' ate lunch and talked about life. It was one of those moments where you just get so involved in a conversation you forget that there are other around probably listening to you. 

It's weird actually it's quite simple. I like him. He likes me. We have a potential of making something happen. But I have boarded up these walls. Of course some situations I can be myself, and entrust him when I confide in him about my worries. Nevertheless, when it comes to letting go and falling back; I am ever so reluctance. I can't let what happened in the past predict the future. I have to take the facts as they are now. You keep your experience from the past as a lesson. But I guess I shouldn't be letting it controlling me. 

An awkward conversation came up between him and I the other day. Sometimes it seems we are on the same page and sometimes we aren't. I'd have an anxiety attack and push him away. Never thought I was one to do that. Never. Anyway, the conversation, it prompted me to wonder: are we moving too fast? too slow? Sometimes I think it's all way too fast but then at times I enjoy the pace we are going at. What is there really to get to know about him, because I've known him from before. But then again things have changed, we have changed. I'm not taking him for granted but  I guess if he really has "feelings" for me -_- he will wait until I am ready.