paper bag princess

Thank you Robert; for giving young girls a well advance warning how douchey guys can be despite how much one tries to help them out. 

"Elizabeth, you are a mess!  You smell like 
ashes, your hair is all tangled and you are wearing a dirty old paper bag.  Come back when you are dressed like a real princess."

"Ronald," said Elizabeth, "your clothes are really pretty and your hair is very neat.  You look like a real prince, but you are a bum."

They didn't get married after all.

-The Paper Bag Princess, Robert N. Munsch