I begin my first shift at 3:30 and I'll be off at 11:30. Yeah I'm pretty nervous, but I made it this far into the program so I must know my shit right? Hmm. I still need to review, I've got my first exam 7 weeks away so I need to get started. It's just I don't know where! It's a bit overwhelming seeing that I can be tested on anything from the past two years and we have no outline. to study from Our guide is the NCLEX-PN examination review book we were to purchase. But I should look through my course outlines and review the weekly topics or look through my old lecture slides/notes.
As for today I'm sorta thrilled to go in, it's definitely going to be one heck of an experience. But I'm more nervous than anything. I don't want to be taken advantaged of nor do I want to deal with catty nurses. I keep questioning if I know everything maybe I should review. Maybe I should have reviewed?! AHH! There definitely is much more freedom with pre-grad, but with that freedom comes responsibility. Like I need to study on my own and figure out what to study. Of course, I think the shifts are going to be tiring as well, but I'm hoping I adjust. I'm trying to stay as organized as possible to stay on top of things.
As for him, I began to realize that maybe I saw what I wanted to see. I mean it was unorthodox the way we met but factors point that it is nothing more than friends. I'm slowly beginning to realize that just because it doesn't work out and mount to something that it's not the end, there are more people out there to meet. And also that sometimes for people they just don't have that "happy ending" or "finding someone". I personally believe that the universe is going to drive me through the sludge just because (a) I seem to want the company of someone and (b) I've had the company of two serious relationships for a span of 5 years.and (c) I need to learn how to be without it.
And it's not like I haven't learnt it. I think I have changed a lot for what has been almost a year. Nevertheless, once I met this guy feels like I threw all that out the window. I guess I really haven't thrown it out because I am aware of who I am. But I guess it's like a challenge.Thus, the universe intends on dangling the carrot in front of me and saying "hey, here's a cute guy who you seem to click with and has a pretty stable job, but guess what it's not going to mount to anything more than a friendship because you need to learn that not every guy that walks into your life is going to be that." I mean in hindsight I know that, but it's about getting it engraved in my head. I guess it's all a learning process? Thankfully, I have school to distract me and consume my thoughts. And quite frankly, my pride kicks in and goes "why would you want a guy who you wanted to date badly, got your hopes up like a gitty school girl and get shot down?" If a guy is interested, it will show.
As for today I'm sorta thrilled to go in, it's definitely going to be one heck of an experience. But I'm more nervous than anything. I don't want to be taken advantaged of nor do I want to deal with catty nurses. I keep questioning if I know everything maybe I should review. Maybe I should have reviewed?! AHH! There definitely is much more freedom with pre-grad, but with that freedom comes responsibility. Like I need to study on my own and figure out what to study. Of course, I think the shifts are going to be tiring as well, but I'm hoping I adjust. I'm trying to stay as organized as possible to stay on top of things.
As for him, I began to realize that maybe I saw what I wanted to see. I mean it was unorthodox the way we met but factors point that it is nothing more than friends. I'm slowly beginning to realize that just because it doesn't work out and mount to something that it's not the end, there are more people out there to meet. And also that sometimes for people they just don't have that "happy ending" or "finding someone". I personally believe that the universe is going to drive me through the sludge just because (a) I seem to want the company of someone and (b) I've had the company of two serious relationships for a span of 5 years.and (c) I need to learn how to be without it.
And it's not like I haven't learnt it. I think I have changed a lot for what has been almost a year. Nevertheless, once I met this guy feels like I threw all that out the window. I guess I really haven't thrown it out because I am aware of who I am. But I guess it's like a challenge.Thus, the universe intends on dangling the carrot in front of me and saying "hey, here's a cute guy who you seem to click with and has a pretty stable job, but guess what it's not going to mount to anything more than a friendship because you need to learn that not every guy that walks into your life is going to be that." I mean in hindsight I know that, but it's about getting it engraved in my head. I guess it's all a learning process? Thankfully, I have school to distract me and consume my thoughts. And quite frankly, my pride kicks in and goes "why would you want a guy who you wanted to date badly, got your hopes up like a gitty school girl and get shot down?" If a guy is interested, it will show.
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