The view as I drive home. Yes it's blurry, I was driving at 70 km/hr.
Pink/purple skies as the sun sets.So I was supposed to go clubbing last night, but my friend flopped only to want go to a pub near her place and well I wasn't going to drive up to Sauga to go to a pub. Instead I ordered some Pickle Barrel take out and drove to this hiking trail in Pickering. It was so peaceful eating a cheesecake, windows down and watching the rain pour down in a deserted place. I ended up going to bed at 10:30 and waking up at like 7:30am LOL :|
Hmm so I got work today as well. There is honestly something about side shy smiles that are my kryptonite. UGH! Anyways I'm going to start studying for Patho today.
You know what I have come to realize, I'm an accommodating person. Now I don't say that to flatter myself. I feel that because of that characteristic people tend to take advantage of that Whether it be my family, my ex or my friends.Once I got SO angry and just yelled at my mom. Never would you pull this with my lil brother, but with me you think I'll do everything even without my input!
It then got me thinking; is accommodation normal in relationships? Yeah probably. My ex was accommodating just as much as I was. However, I think at one point I feel like I was trying more only to get disappointed. Well that's the past but I wonder how much should one put in and give for a relationship? After my past experience, I would never divulge such personal details of my life again to another guy, no matter how close and "in love" I feel with him. But then again you can never say never, I wouldn't want that to be used against me when I do the contrary. Newsflash: everyone talks alot of bs and end up doing the opposite. You live and your learn, I guess.
There are just some things you keep to yourself. Some may argue no if you love someone and they are your other half there will be no secrets. My response? BS. I don't want to open myself to another person and tell them my history only to get it used against me. LOL! Now I know I should not base my past experience for the future but you also learn lessons from the past that will protect you from hurt, and this is just one of them. I know that I should not have some sort of pre-judgement towards guys and have a guard up because a good guy may slip through my fingers. However, it's not that simple. You literally have to have your guards up and take your time with this crap. That's a mistake I've made and learned for the better. As for friendships, it's tricky because friendship is both like and unlike a relationship you have with a significant other.You learn from the past and you know better not to let it happen again.
Slowly I've begun to realize to just to do things on my own and not have any expectations in others. I remember reading somewhere never get attached to your expected outcomes. The only person you can trust is yourself. Wow I sound really cynical. Lol I'm not. I know there good people out there, there are plenty of them in my life whom I love and treasure deeply in my heart. But what I'm trying to say is you also got to put yourself first before others, otherwise you are just being unfair to yourself. Now of course there are times when you need to put your bf/gf/family member/ friend before yourself but that's also depending on the situation. I remember reading somewhere how are you suppose to love others if you can't love yourself? That's really true. Because if you can't truly love and appreciate yourself, you will be blind to your true value and anyone whether it be a bf, gf or even a friend can easily mistreat you. And of course you being oblivious of your self worth think that it's okay for others to say or do shit to you. Well that was just my random, long brain fart. Think about it. :)
Hmm so I got work today as well. There is honestly something about side shy smiles that are my kryptonite. UGH! Anyways I'm going to start studying for Patho today.
You know what I have come to realize, I'm an accommodating person. Now I don't say that to flatter myself. I feel that because of that characteristic people tend to take advantage of that Whether it be my family, my ex or my friends.Once I got SO angry and just yelled at my mom. Never would you pull this with my lil brother, but with me you think I'll do everything even without my input!
It then got me thinking; is accommodation normal in relationships? Yeah probably. My ex was accommodating just as much as I was. However, I think at one point I feel like I was trying more only to get disappointed. Well that's the past but I wonder how much should one put in and give for a relationship? After my past experience, I would never divulge such personal details of my life again to another guy, no matter how close and "in love" I feel with him. But then again you can never say never, I wouldn't want that to be used against me when I do the contrary. Newsflash: everyone talks alot of bs and end up doing the opposite. You live and your learn, I guess.
There are just some things you keep to yourself. Some may argue no if you love someone and they are your other half there will be no secrets. My response? BS. I don't want to open myself to another person and tell them my history only to get it used against me. LOL! Now I know I should not base my past experience for the future but you also learn lessons from the past that will protect you from hurt, and this is just one of them. I know that I should not have some sort of pre-judgement towards guys and have a guard up because a good guy may slip through my fingers. However, it's not that simple. You literally have to have your guards up and take your time with this crap. That's a mistake I've made and learned for the better. As for friendships, it's tricky because friendship is both like and unlike a relationship you have with a significant other.You learn from the past and you know better not to let it happen again.
Slowly I've begun to realize to just to do things on my own and not have any expectations in others. I remember reading somewhere never get attached to your expected outcomes. The only person you can trust is yourself. Wow I sound really cynical. Lol I'm not. I know there good people out there, there are plenty of them in my life whom I love and treasure deeply in my heart. But what I'm trying to say is you also got to put yourself first before others, otherwise you are just being unfair to yourself. Now of course there are times when you need to put your bf/gf/family member/ friend before yourself but that's also depending on the situation. I remember reading somewhere how are you suppose to love others if you can't love yourself? That's really true. Because if you can't truly love and appreciate yourself, you will be blind to your true value and anyone whether it be a bf, gf or even a friend can easily mistreat you. And of course you being oblivious of your self worth think that it's okay for others to say or do shit to you. Well that was just my random, long brain fart. Think about it. :)
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