Run its course

Well holy shit the past few days were tiresome. This cold was stubborn, brutal and shitty. I think I spent 3-4 days in bed, drinking excessive amounts of fluid and getting as much bed rest as I can. Today was the first day I actually got out and enjoyed the remainder of my break. I start on Wednesday. My prof put up readings and work for week 1 and 2. So I finished my readings and did my work for week 1 and I did some of week 2. My room needs to be cleaned and I guess I will get to it tomorrow. I've neglected taking care of my room just because I was sick. I actually ended up going to the doctor because my phlegm was a dark yolky yellow colour which freaked me out. Turns out that it’s not a biggie. Right now I have a stubborn dry cough that comes here and there and a slight stuffy nose.
I started watching Scrubs. For the past few days I'd lie in bed with the laptop beside me and I'd just watch episode after episode of Scrubs. I started reading Eat Pray Love (which was a birthday gift!) and I should finish it because I know once school starts I might neglect on finishing it. I was supposed to work for three days, volunteer during my new shift and even meet up with friends but I had to cancel because of this brutal cold! ohh welll I made some antibodies so yay!! So now that I am getting better I can get back to the gym.
You don't understand and I guess it's hard. I mean we can all relate and empathize but body image is something subjective. Every shirt I tried on my stomach would pop out and I just hate the size of my thighs. I then feel pretty stupid for getting emotional and crazy over these insecurities and flaws because I should be grateful that I have a healthy body! Nevertheless, like many people out there I am not satisfied with my body. I renewed my YMCA membership so I'm going back to the gym. I stopped around the beginning April because school got crazy with finals, assignments and exams. And the once school ended I got sick so now’s my chance to make the most of it and push myself! When I have school I sit there and make excuses though like here’s a few:
(1) I got so much on my plate!
(2) the time I'm at the gym I could be studying for anatomy
(3) I'm too tired from school
These things just get in my way and I figure if I want to get out of this rut than I NEED to do something instead of fucking complaining. There have been days in the recent times where I have cried trying on clothes because it did not look right in my eyes and it shouldn't come to that extent. I know I am going to be bullshittting if I said I love my body.. because I know I don't. I appreciate my body because holy crap our body does alot that we just take for granted. But I know I can't stand in front of a mirror in my bra and panties and stare at myself for 10 mins with a sense of satisfaction (not sexually speaking :P) I guess this is the first step identifying the problem. I think the difficult part is consistency I can’t keep something up and I find it really hard to balance working out with school schedules. And it doesn’t mean I should devote like 1 hr at the gym… at least ½ hr just jogging outside would be okay on those hectic days. Another thing that I find very difficult is eating right. I picked up this really bad habit of eating sweets and junk food and I need to get out of it! Ahh well let’s see how things unfold.